Note By Note

XVI: Mother of the Year II

Note by Note

Chapter XVI — Mother of the Year II

[Dedicated Song: Lana Del Rey — Off to the Races]

[07 April 2018]
[London, Grayson Residence]
[18:13]

I could only watch as Kuyeya and her mother exchanged words that I could not hear, but anyone would have been smart enough to notice that this was far from a friendly conversation between a mother and a daughter. There was disdain accompanying every word, I could tell by their body language.

For a moment, doubt began to creep into my system, telling me that I had chosen a task far too great to conquer when I still had not conquered my problems. The doubt was telling me that I was still broken and pretending I was not, and it was right. I had not healed from my psychological wounds, but there was also a chance I never would and a part of me had accepted that fate, while another was still struggling to process it. As such, I simply chose to redirect whatever frustration I had towards something more productive. I chose to heal the psychological wounds of someone who had the chance to heal — someone who had the chance to bounce back. That alone was enough to vanquish the minor doubt that I had manifested.

At this point, my well-being was not important, just as Kuyeya's was when she took the chance and chose to help me navigate through this new path I was on. I was going to fix this relationship, no matter how long it would take.

After collecting enough courage, I stood to my feet and placed my arms in between the two women to create some semblance of the distance between them so they would not tear each other's heads off. There was an almost threatening expression on my face, that was the complete opposite of how I felt. Fortunately for me, that expression was enough to somewhat calm both of them down for the time being. Now the next task was finding the source of this conflict.

"Kuyeya, calm down. What the hell is this all about? It can't just be about your father." I finally brought myself to ask the question, running the risk of them going back at it because my arms were moved. "Except it is. It's been twelve damn years and she still won't let me see him, and she won't even explain to me why." Kuyeya soon responded, before returning to the argument with her mother.

What was so bad about Kuyeya's father that he had to be kept away? Was he simply a bad man? Had he passed on? There were so many options or explanations to this that seemed probable, but we could only know the truth from one person — Kuyeya's mother. With a single fist colliding with the table, I was quick to grab their attention once more, gesturing for them to take a seat on the couch so this matter could hopefully be ironed out.

I paced in front of the two, raising my arms to communicate with Kuyeya once more. "Kuyeya, I need you to bring your case forward in the most civil way possible, and I don't need to know. This is between you to after all." I started and Kuyeya slowly nodded, returning her attention to her mother. Her mouth began to move again, uttering words that my ears could not catch, and nothing my eyes could read. However, a key element I could notice was the body language.

She did not seem to be as angry or frustrated as a few minutes ago, instead, that fire had been replaced with a sort of saddened calmness where Kuyeya did not seem to be demanding any information from her parent but was somewhat begging for it. She had told me that she was close to a breaking point with all of this chaos but knew the only way it would end would be to simply hear what she wanted to hear. The only thing that her mother was not willing to give away for reasons that were beyond me.

I caught sight of tears, tears that sat at the corner of Kuyeya's eyes to make it quite clear that being clueless about her father's status was agonizing. And the thought that the answer rested with her mother simply made it more hurtful. Soon, Kuyeya's mouth ceased any movement and her mother was seemingly gathering her thoughts as if trying to process all that she had just heard.