Bipolar

Chapter Eight.October Marshall

As I'm scrolling through my phone more of Rob's worrying texts flood in.

My heart skips a beat at the next one.

- I'm coming to school today. Don't skip without me. Love you.

I stared at the last words 'love you', sure; I knew he just men't it in a friendly way but I can't deny how much my heart beated that moment I saw those words.

Ok, love you 2-

Ok October, keep it cool... .

- . . .

- C u soon.

I held my bottle of pills in my hand, one more left, one more day. I strode out of the house to find Robert waiting. It was quite an awkward moment, eventually he said "hey" I said Hi as well we walked inside and sat next to each other on the couch. "So umm how are you?" he said awkwardly. I was about to answer when Rex and Jessica walked in laughing.

They stood there in this awkward moment of silence "are we interrupting anything?", Jessica eventually said, all too aware of the awkwardness between all of us. "Do you want to talk outside?" Robert said. As we sat on the porch fidgeting with our fingers I could tell Robert was about to say something, I was too, but just at that moment Tristion walked up to us. I was shocked when he glared at Robert with pure hatred.

Robert glared back at him. "Guys what's up with you two, it's creeping me out", I looked from eye to eye "Oh Robert hasn't told you yet has he?". "What hasn't he told me?" I replied still confused. "Didn't you know that Robert has..." right at that moment Robert bowled him over.

Thirty seconds later I tried to separate them but in the end Rawiri came out and broke them apart. Everyone left and as I sat in my room I wondered what Tristion was going to say. I began to stress and freak out that something was going to happen. pills.

The next morning I woke up wishing it was just a dream. My last pill of the bottle and that would be it. Maybe I shouldn't take it and save it for another time or should I take it so when I talk to the boys it won't be as awkward. All these things were rushing through my mind. I don't know what to do about it. What can I do about it? I will save it for another harder time.

After deciding not to take my pill I decided I would not bring up what happened to anybody, it would be my secret. In the hallways Robert tried hard and I mean hard to talk to me but I ignored him. Tristion however said all these sweet things and I even apologized to him. I had to shake myself out of it. I can't be with them, it would be too awkward.

Over the next few days I avoided talking with the boys and hung out with Colin alot. I still had the one pill left but I didn't think I needed it. I eventually started to hang out with Robert again. I still got this creepy feeling that something wasn't right, like when Robert and I were walking through the halls and Tristion kept glaring at Robert with undisguisable hatred. Boys, so moody.

At lunch break I was in the library pretending to read when I was actually freaking about what Tristion had said to me. Those words were stuck in my brain. I always hear them so Robert hasn't told you yet?. The words toyed with the hairs at the nape of my neck. I can spy on Tristion to see what he was hiding? Or should I ask Robert instead? No. I can't. This is between Tristion and me.

I spent all night figuring out how to follow Tristion unnoticed. This was his thing as kids. The spying I mean. Argh. stop thinking about that twat. No. I can't back out of this now. My plan is to follow him around secretly at school then follow him home and listen to what he might say on the phone with people. Oh lord have mercy on me.

At first following him around at school didn't work. Robert and Colin kept bugging me so my last chance was to follow him home. Tristion's house was around the block from mine so it was easy to know where he was going. As I was sneaking through the park I lost sight of him. "Following someone?", a voice peered behind me. "Oh! uh. no, no, no, I'm not just walking home" I said worried he might know what I'm doing. "Uh but your house is that way," he said, pointing in the opposite direction."Ugh... ok! I was following you" I gave in, embarrassed. "Why?" Tristion said, surprised. "Ok I wanted to know what you were going to say to me before Robert attacked you". I was about to say something else but instead he kissed me.

I was so shocked I leapt back. "What the hell was that?", I said with anger growing. "Sorry! I miss read the moment! ok?", and before I could say anything more he ran off and I was left there with so many questions buzzing through my mind. fuck.

I had sworn to myself I would not tell Robert about this. What if he hurt Tristion? I couldn't risk it. I would never forgive myself if Tristion was hurt badly. Yes you can. lier. No, I would not take the risk of doing that. But what was I going to tell Tristion? That I love him back the same way? Eww. Hell no. You know who you love.

I went to school feeling very anxious about my plan. Soooo much plans. I don't know what to do. I really wanted to cry and scream, doubting myself. I should've taken my pill with me. I was at my locker when Robert came up to me. "hey", I said blankly

"what's up?", Robert replied

"not much",

"Listen I've been meaning to tell you something", he hesitated "what is it?", "I-I nevermind I can't remember what I was going to say. Umm i'd better go see what-uhh-COLIN IS DOING! yes. see ya", He left me confused and dumbfounded.

I can't hurt him.