Nest & Wings (Annie Leonhardt x Male Reader)

Chapter 42: One Who's Responsible

You manage to capture Bertolt alive, but Reiner and Zeke got away as you hadn't expected a fourth titan shifter like that. You were prepared for Ymir, but she was the type to attack head on, so sneaking up strategically wasn't something you'd anticipate from her. It meant that the quadruped titan had to be a different warrior.

Hange then confirms that it wasn't Ymir after reading her letter, where she mentioned how she was going to be fed to a new warrior. The mission ended mostly in success as you managed to drive them off. But it came at a huge cost.

Marlowe and Moblit were already dead, while Commander Erwin was barely clinging on to life. Most of his body was crushed, and he was losing a lot of blood. Knowing that he wouldn't make it, he appoints Hange as the new Commander and entrusts the rest to you, Levi and herself as he slowly fades out.

You watch in tears as your hero, the man who believed in you and stood up for you even when you seemingly betrayed them, passes away right in front of you. You felt a sense of helplessness as once more you are struck by reality and how little control you have over it.

Levi too was visibly in great pain from losing his mentor, but he held his composure. He tells you how it's unsightly for a Captain to show tears and instructs you to toughen up— for the time being at least.

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You arrive at Shiganshina by evening.

Everyone were in their stations as instructed. Your group slowly make your way towards the wall. You had to carry the bodies of the soldiers who died on horseback, as you didn't take any supply wagons with you.

As you get onto the lifts and make your way up, you're greeted by Annie and Nifa, who were left in charge of the rest of the troops, along with Connie and Sasha. They notice the look on everyone's faces and immediately knew something was up.

"The Commander... He's..." you try to explain, but the words wouldn't come out of your mouth.

Annie immediately hugs you and says, "Calm down, it's not your fault. He was prepared for it, remember what he told us?"

She reminds you of how Commander Erwin mentioned he had already realized his dreams thanks to the two of you before you head out. It helped to know that he had no regrets, but you still couldn't stop blaming yourself.

You weren't the only one in distress though, so you had to fulfil your duties as a Captain. You suck in your tears and go on to make sure everyone else was alright first. Annie rushes off to talk with Hitch and you follow. Hitch was grieving the loss of Marlowe, whom she had a crush on. Annie walks up to her and hugs her to console her.

As she does that, you fall on your knees and apologize for letting him die. "I'm sorry, we were supposed to look after him since he was a rookie, but... I failed."

Hitch responds, "It's not your fault. I tried to stop him from going but... he wouldn't listen to a word I said. He always wanted to do the 'right thing' and got into trouble all the time. He got himself killed—"

"That's not true!" Annie cuts her off. "Marlowe didn't go off and die for nothing, you know. He gave his life to make sure they couldn't get here. He did it to protect everyone... to protect you."

"She's right. He bravely fought beside the Commander until the very end. It's because of both of them that Levi was able to stop the Beast Titan." You corroborate.

Hitch thanks the two of you while forcibly holding back her tears. She was tough. At that moment, you understood why Annie and Hitch got along so well despite how different they were stylistically.

After talking with Hitch, you go over to check on your squad. Rico and Petra were still in shock; unsurprisingly of course, as they held Moblit when he died. Nifa was utterly devastated. You sit down with the three of them and console them.

Afterwards, you head over to check on the recruits who were grieving the loss of their mentor. As you walked over to them, someone pulls you from your jacket and punches you in the face. You fall down holding your jaw as the others gather around to see what the commotion was about.

Having sustained multiple injuries yourself, you desperately pull yourself to your feet to see that it was one of the recruits who punched you. Floch Forster; like most of the new recruits, he transferred to the Survey Corps after the uprising specifically out of admiration for Commander Erwin.

"You decided to leave one of our greatest weapons behind just because you didn't want your little girlfriend to get hurt! She's a weapon for fucks sake... isn't that why the court spared her in the first place? If the Female Titan was there, Commander Erwin wouldn't have died; it's all YOUR fault you selfish bastard!" Floch accuses you.

Hange quickly steps in to hold him back as he tries to attack you a second time. She yells back at him and attempts to defend you, but you stop her as you yourself knew that Floch wasn't entirely wrong.

You respond, "It's exactly as he said... I was being selfish. Let him go Hange-san, he deserves a chance to vent out his frustration."

Hange complies and lets go of Floch. He walks over to you and asks, "Do you think letting me beat you to a pulp will make up for it?"

"No, but if it'll help you feel any better, then be my guest. I'll 'abuse my position as a captain' and have you pardoned." You answer.

"Enough!" Levi yells. "I get that you're angry, but it's not an excuse to compromise the Survey Corps' discipline. And you... didn't I already tell you not to judge yourself on hindsight? You, Erwin, you're all the same!"

You answer, "But he's right about me being responsible for—"

"No you're not. We tried to stop Erwin from even participating, remember? But he insisted on going! Can you guess why?" Levi asks.

You answer, "N-no..."

Levi continues, "I was there when Erwin got himself killed. Just like you judged yourself responsible for his death, Erwin condemned himself for the deaths of countless others who died because of his decisions. I couldn't stop him because he was my superior... but at the very least, I won't allow you to make the same mistake."

Levi's explanation helps you and the recruits understand the situation from an objective point of view. Afterwards, you make your way to the watchtower. It was somewhat of a personal spot you've had dibs on since reclaiming the HQ. You sit down on the floor and rest against a wall as you take some time to reflect on everything.

A few minutes later,

Annie comes looking for you and sees you contemplating. She sits down next to you and asks, "Still thinking about the Commander?"

You explain "Yeah, if it wasn't for him, neither of us would be here, you know. We would've lost the trial and... Damn it! Why'd it have to be him of all people?"

You've been suppressing your emotions to give priority to your responsibilities as a captain. This time however, you couldn't hold back your tears and they start pouring down your cheeks as you let everything out.

"Come here..." Annie says tapping on her shoulder. She wraps her arm around you and helps you relax as you lean on her shoulder. You felt at ease, almost as if all that burden had somehow disappeared for just a moment. She gently runs her fingers through your hair and comforts you as you slowly fall asleep.