Can You Keep a Secret? (Luhan Fanfic)

Chapter 15: It's Okay to Cry

After sensing the immense amount of awkward tension in the room, Baekhyun decided to slip out, leaving Dahae and Luhan together. Haru was already fast asleep.

"I-it's been a long day. You should get some sleep too," Dahae piped up as she tried to pass by Luhan. While trying to leave the room, Dahae felt a grasp on her wrist, stopping her from escaping.

"Wait," Luhan said, gently trying to pull Dahae back. "I know you must have a lot questions and I don't want to keep you in the dark about this anymore."

Before Dahae could give him an answer, Luhan was already leading her out of Haru's room and into his. Still holding on to her wrist, the two sat on Luhan's bed and looked anywhere else except at eachother.

"There was a reason I had to switch out of the classes that we had together." Luhan said, finally breaking the silence. "The first time I saw you was when we bumped into eachother infront of the science buildings. From the start, you reminded me of someone that was very important to me. Remember when I told you about my first girlfriend?"

"Dayoung?" Dahae remembered.

"It might sound crazy," He let out a dry laugh, "Because you look exactly like her...that was the reason why I wanted to distance myself from you. That night you came to my apartment and I saw you playing with Haru, you reminded me so much of her. I kind of broke down after that....I-I'm sorry, this must be really weird for you to hear." Luhan waved a dismissive hand.

"Actually. I've heard of her. Baekhyun told me a little about her because I found this..."Dahae took out the picture of Luhan's former girlfriend from her purse. She kept it in her wallet and forgot to take it out before. Dahae handed the polaroid to Luhan, "But why would you want to distance yourself from me if I look like Dayoung? Does she bring back some memories you want to forget?"

"A little bit..."Luhan's eyes looked down solemnly. "Dayoung was--is Haru's mom."

As surprised as Dahae was, she tried not to look at Luhan because she thought if she looked at him, he might start crying. She knew that his eyes were watering up so she handed him a handerchief from her purse. "Has it been a while since you two have talked to eachother? Has she visited Haru recently?"

Luhan ran a stiff hand through his hair and shook his head no.

Dahae narrowed her eyes at Luhan. How could a mother possibly not visit her own daughter? Every little girl should have both of her parents growing up.

"She doesn't want to visit you guys?" Dahae asked astonished.

"No that's not it," Luhan cleared his throat. "Dayoung, she's...she's not alive anymore."

Dahae let out a surprised gasp. She didn't want to make her reaction too obvious, but learning something like that was sure to surprise you. She reached out and squeezed Luhan's hand for comfort.

"She was such an amazing person," Luhan said quietly. "She didn't deserve to die so young...When my parents found out that I had a girlfriend in my second year of high school, they were really against it. They thought I should have waited at least until college, but when they met Dayoung, they completely changed their minds." Luhan paused to smile at his reminiscent. "She had that effect on people. Once they met her, they loved her almost as much as I did. Everyone was happy when she was around. Then...we did something stupid. Both of our families turned against us when they found out Dayoung was pregnant. She got an early acceptance into the top university in Korea but she had to turn down the offer when she found out she was going to have a baby. Her parents were so disappointed in their perfect daughter that they basically disowned her.

My parents didn't "disown" me, but they wouldn't talk to me or even look at me after we broke the news to them. I had a lot of money saved up and decided to move out so I could get an apartment for me and Dayoung to live in. Not once did I think of deserting her; I was going to support our family. Even though our lives changed in an instant, we were still happy together. Of course I was new to all of this so I read so many books on how to be a dad.

We decided that if it was going to be a boy, then Dayoung would name him, but if it was going to be a girl, then I was going to name her. Suddenly she started acting differently; she was always depressed and angry. I read about depression during pregnancy, but she said things that scared me. She refused to eat so I had to force her, I told her that she has to make sure the baby eats too and she said she didn't care if something bad happened to our baby.

I couldn't believe she said that, but I knew she was under a lot of stress. Finally after a few months, Haru was born. It's cliche to say that that was the happiest day of my life, but it really was. I wanted to remember that day forever, so that's why I named Haru, Haru. When I saw Dayoung holding our baby, I just had a feeling that everything was going to be ok again.

Ever since Haru was born, Dayoung kept trying to contact her parents because she at least wanted them to see our daughter once. But they never returned her calls, they were still ignoring her. Dayoung was always so happy when she was with Haru, but she became depressed again knowing that her parents were never going to accept her. She resorted to drinking--a lot of drinking. When I confronted her about it, she promised that she'd stop but one night I came home, and I knew she was drunk. We got into a big fight and she stormed out of the apartment. I tried running after her," Luhan started choking back his tears, "But she ran out into the streets and was so intoxicated, she didn't even see the car that was coming..."

Dahae felt Luhan squeeze her hand even tighter as he tried not to let out any tears. Dahae released her hand and put her arms around Luhan, "It's ok," she whispered near his ear, "You can cry."

At first, Luhan seemed to not want any sympathy, but suddenly he pulled her closer to his chest and rested his head on her shoulder. She could hear his staggered breathing and feel his hands bunch up into fists.