Dear Park Sunghoon ⚊ Letter Series #4

letter forty three

dear park sunghoon,

this question is both obvious to the two of us. of why i never want to show my face to you.

but then, why am i sending letters?

i told you that it's because it's my way of letting you go.

still, on the night i have to bring you back home and while we were on the taxi, i could never remove my eyes from your face.

it brought me back to so many memories of our childhood. of all the good and bad things. and what i probably love to look back to is when we were going into another country and have to go in a plane.

you could choose anyone else to seat with, but it's always me that you love to have in the whole flight. if we wouldn't happen to sit beside each other in the plane, you're on the go to ask our friends to exchange seats.

and because from then on, they could already see my thing on you, they always give you what you want, knowing it's the same thing i wanted.

i've never really wanted anything in the world so madly that i would be willing to be stupid for it, but for you and i realized it that night.

you might not remember it for being drunk. i actually took you in a hug when you seemed so close to crying in your sleep, like you're dreaming of something bad.

you kept mentioning their names.

of jungwon and jay. and even if i never met them, i prayed to god for them not to take you away.

i also prayed that they'll be resting in peace up there. and maybe to watch over you and the other members of enhypen.

this is where i am going to admit something as well. yes, i'm a coward for not telling you before all of this start, before you left for bighit and when we're still too young to know what would happen in the nexts years to come.

i fell in love with you, park sunghoon and it's the best damn thing in the world. well, back then.

now it could be the worse at the same time.

i couldn't tell you in fear of being rejected by my own friend, but do i have the courage to do so one day?

- y.