Sunless Sky

Chapter 2: Paul's back.

As soon as I reached home I burst into tears. So we truly ended everything.
I love him... I... I don't want this... To happen, but I can't be selfish and ignore Josh's death. I loved Josh just as much I love Andrew.

I never cried since my parent's death twelve years ago. Since my parent's death, Josh was my everything he was not just a brother but a friend and a father figure to me.

I'm in pain... I'm in so much pain that my heart hurts.
Why Josh... Why did you leave me, you know right that I'm afraid to be alone?
I don't want to live in this world without you, please take me with you I'm begging you... CAN YOU EVEN HEAR ME? I screamed in despair.

Suddenly my hands started shaking, my heart rate increased, my vision became blurry, I was getting out of breath and I can't breathe anymore, my head started spinning. My mouth is so dry and hoarse from all the crying. "I feel so tired, Someone... Please save me..." I said in my mind before everything went dark.

~~~~•~~~~

"Is she alright?" Someone's talking.

"When is she going to wake up." Who's talking.

"Anything else." It's a male's voice.

"Thank you." Is it Andrew's or Josh's?.

Oh wait, they both can't be with me anymore, but I know this voice.

I slowly opened my eyes, the room is too bright that my eyes hurt.

"Sophie, thank goodness you're awake."

"Paul." God, even my throat hurts.

"I want some water," I said with a hoarse voice.

"Sure, wait a second." He said in a silky voice.

When did he come back, I thought he was in Italy?

"Here." He said giving me a glass of crystal clear water.

"Thanks," I said.

"Drink Slowly." He said in a smooth tone.

"When did you come back," I asked him.

"Just yesterday, I was so shocked when I found you unconscious today," Paul said with a worried look.

"I heard the news." He said with sadness evident in his voice.

"It's been two months you heard it now?" I asked him raising my eyebrows.

"I'm sorry, I should have come back early." He said looking guilty.

"Are you fine?" He asked in a worried tone.

"I'm fine," I replied in a low voice.

"You're fine? your eyes are so puffed, anybody can tell that you have been crying." He said in a calm voice.

"What happened to me?"

"The doctor said that you are weak and dehydrated. Oh, and they took your blood for some tests."

"Tests?." I said confused.

"Do you even know, your heart rate was more than 160?"

"What." I was shocked.

"Yes, do you know what happened before you passed out?"

"I think I had an outburst," I said honestly.

"It's all my fault, that I was not here with you, you had to suffer alone, I'm sorry. He said softly holding my hand.

"It's ok and I'm not a child, I can handle it," I said reassuringly to him.

He nodded in response and said, "I'm going to see if we can go home yet."

"Thanks," I said before he disappeared from my sight.

Paul's father was my dad's secretary he died in the same plane crash as my parents, he didn't have any other relatives so Josh took him in and raised him, we grew up together like siblings.

~~~~•~~~~

We're back at my house and I'm still kind of feeling sick, God, what's wrong with me.

"You didn't tell Amy about this right."

"No, I didn't."

"Thank God I didn't want her to worry about me."

"This house is kind of empty, where are all the maids."

"They only come twice a week."

"Oh then... How did Josh die?" He asked with a small pause

"He fell from a four-storey building," I said coldly.

"Did not he die in Andrew's hands?"

"It was an accident."

"Then what about Megan accusing him."

"I don't know."

"Do you plan to stay here or do you have a place to live," I asked him.

"I plan to stay here for a few days." He said.

"I'll stay till you get better, then I'll move out."

"I'm fine you know."

"What if you pass out again and there's nobody to help you."

"Okay, your wish."

After the death of his father, Paul came to live with us, he used to live with us until three years ago when he went to Italy to become a chef, he's like a second brother to me.

I don't know why am feeling so weak, these past two months I've been living alone and was just fine.

I wonder how Andrew's doing it must be hard in prison.

With my parents passing away and Josh's being busy with the company, I always used to be alone, and soon I was diagnosed with social anxiety, depression, and other phobias that I lost my will to live.

At one point even everyday life was hard for me. I was so depressed that I always used to think when I was going to die.

I never know what it was to be alive to truly live, I didn't try to take my life because I was not brave enough, I was a coward who was afraid of death and pain and a part of me still wanted to live.

I was living a meaningless and unhappy life until I met him. Andrew's father and my father are business partners and best friends.

I first met him when he came to our house for dinner with his family, but we didn't truly talk to each other until we went to the same high school then we started talking to each other and used to spend so much time together that I slowly started having a crush on him.

And one day he asked me out I was so surprised but I refused and told him about my mental health and how I can't commit to a relationship.
But then he said something that changed my mind he said...

"Sophie, I know it will be hard, I'll do my best for the both of us, I know you love me too, let's try together even if it's hard I'm ready to try every day for you I'll work hard so we have a happy relationship, please don't give up before trying."

Then we started dating but because of my social anxiety it was so hard for me to go out, do things, meet people.

But he helped me he didn't rush things or push me off my limits he was so patient he slowly encouraged me and supported me and he made me feel so comfortable around him that slowly with his help I started becoming better.

Even though I visited so many therapists but it never helped that much, I guess because I never had the will to live to be happy, but after meeting Andrew I starting truly living again being with him made me feel loved and wanted which was missing from my life.

I gained my will to live again, and before I know it I was madly in love with him every moment I spent with him are the happiest moments of my life that I can never forget. My tears started falling down my eyes as I was thinking back to all my memories with him.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on my door.