jensen ackles imagines

tourette syndrome - jensen's daughter

Hi, i'm Y/N and i'm a 17 year old girl with tourette syndrome. The usual tics are: my neck will jerk every now and then and sometimes my lip will quiver or i'll make a grimace for a second or two. It's usually not bad and honestly i don't think anyone really notices i have tourettes unless i tell them. That is of course only unless i have a tic attack. I've only had 2 tic attacks in my entire life and it's horrible. Like absolutely horrible!

One time i was at a restaurant with my dad, Jensen and my mom, Danneel, and i told them i was feeling different, weird. They didn't think much of it before i was jerking my head more than i ever had i my life and gritting my teeth tightly. We went home just before it got really bad and eventually found out it was a tic attack. We all thought something was really wrong with me. So i guess i was lucky? I don't know. With this syndrome i don't think anyone really feels lucky having it.

"Mom? Dad?" I say, turning around the corner to the living room where my parents are sitting in the couch watching tv.

"Hey baby, what's up?" Dad asks, smiling as he sees me.

"I just came down to say goodnight." I say as i click my tongue a few times afterwards.

"Oh," he looks confused for a second and quickly checks his watch to see it is indeed almost midnight. "I didn't even realize it was that late. Well goodnight honey, sleep well." He says, still smiling, making me smile too.

"I'll do my very best." I start turning towards the stairs. "Night mom!" I say a little louder as i start walking up the stairs, my neck jerking a few times in the process.

"Night honey! Love you!" She says, also slightly loud and i can hear the smile in her voice.

"Love you too!" I yell, just before i close my bedroom door and go to my bed.

I read a few chapters of my book before putting it away, turning of my lamp and falling into a peaceful slumber.

2:41 am

I woke up because of my neck jerking more than usual, my tongue clicking a lot and my body shaking, which has never happened before. It was painful, to say the least.

I let out a few whimpers from the actual pain i'm experiencing and my tics of course decides to act up, making me let out short, but loud, screams uncontrollably.
Before i know it, i hear my door opening and i see dad in his pajama pants and a white t-shirt, looking really tired and really worried at the same time. Before the door is even fully opened he says something.

"Y/N? What's wrong? Are you okay?" He probably thinks it's a nightmare or something. I mean, screaming in the middle of the night? It's kinda obvious. Mostly because i have never actually had a tic before that made me scream. He runs over to my bedside and i only have to look at him for a split second to see his extremely worried look.

"Dad- ha!" i yell as my body jolts continuously. "Dad i don't know what's ha- ah!- happening" I say, truly feeling like i'm dying or something. I let out grunts and noises through gritted teeth as my body is constantly tensing up.

"Okay honey i think you're having a tic attack." Dad says, of course. And best timing as well, in the actual middle of the night.

Convenient.

"Danneel!" Dad yells for mom, i look at him and see he's trying to figure out if he can touch me or not. He looks so panicked and it's all my fault.

Mom comes running into the room, just like dad did moments prior. As soon as she sees me laying there, tensing up, shaking and making noises showing my current pain, she runs over to the other side of the bed, her eyes wide.

"Y/N it's okay honey, we're right here. Just try to breathe." Mom says. I hear her and as i'm about to respond my back suddenly arches from a huge tic and i bite down a few times, gritting my teeth, and hurting them in the process.

"Y/N can we touch you or no?" Dad asks, hovering over me. He looks so scared to touch me, like i'm gonna break if he tries. The tic in my back relaxes and mimi lay down normally again. Still shaking and jerking though.

"Yes- ha! ha! aah!" i say, letting out screams just trying to form a sentence. This is the worst tic attack i've ever had! I feel so incredibly terrible!
As soon as i've answered Dad takes both of his hands on me. One holding my hand and the other resting comfortably on my cheek. Mom takes my other hand, and even though i'm squeezing both of their hands really hard due to my tics, they don't let go.

"It's gonna pass honey, it'll be okay, we're right here with you." Dad says sweetly. I'm crying and letting out sobs and screaming tics at the same time. I feel like this is never gonna end. Sure i've gotten used to the whole neck jerking thing and when i click my tongue i don't think about it much, but this? This is one of the worst experiences i've ever had, maybe ever will have. So many people think living with tourettes is so easy. Like 'oh so what, you blink a few more times than other people, big deal' and i cannot get behind that statement. Why can't those people have this damn disease and not me! Then they would at least know what it feels like. Cause this isn't just blinking more that normal people do. Far from it actually.

I don't get why i deserve this.

About 15 minutes pass before my body calms down. Mom and dad never let go of my hands. Not once. And they comforted me throughout the whole thing. Kept telling me they were there and that i'd be okay. I really have the best parents.

"You think it's over?" Dad asks, both mom and me i think.

"Yeah i think so. She's just a little shaken up i think." Mom says while gently running a hand through my hair. I'm still letting out some small noises but i'm not jerking or anything anymore, only my neck a few times but that's normal. I'm covered in a thin layer of sweat and breathing heavily. It's finally over. Thank the lord.

"Are you okay baby?" Dad asks, crouching down beside my bed and putting a hand on my cheek, gently stroking it.

"Mhm, i think so." I look at both of them alternatively. "That was horrible though." I say, chuckling slightly even though it isn't really funny.

"Yeah, i can imagine. It looked pretty bad. Do you want us to call a doctor?" Dad asks, also smiling a little but still keeping the worried look on his face.

"No, can you guys just stay with me? please?" I ask as i give them both a pleading look. I really don't wanna be alone right now.

"Of course honey." Dad says, smiling kindly. He gets up, so does mom, and they both lay down on each side of me. Cuddling me. And in that moment, nothing else matters.

I have tourettes. It's not fun. It's not easy. And it's definitely not pleasant. But i have my parents here to help me. What i'm gonna do when they're not here anymore, i really don't know, but for the time being i don't care. They're here. And i couldn't appreciate and love them more.

"We love you honey." Mom whispers, her eyes closed.

"So much." Dad finishes her sentence, his eyes also closed.

I smile to myself as we all fall into a peaceful sleep, squeezed together in my bed.

I love you too mom and dad.
So much.