The Vault Hunter (A Borderlands 2 Story)

The Man Who Would Be Jack

Sam arrives at Opportunity. The city was huge and had statues of Jack all over the place.

Sam: How full of yourself can you be? So where's this body double?

Angel: Jack has body doubles all over the city, he always wants a to see himself wherever he goes

Sam: Explains the statues

Sam explores the massive city. Hyperion soldiers, engineers and bots were swarming the place meaning that Sam had to kill them all.

Sam: Ugh.. all this propaganda is terrible. People actually buy this shit?

Angel: Jack has brainwashed the masses and forcing them to obey him

Sam: What a tool

Sam eventually finds one of the body doubles.

Sam: This is gonna be real satisfying!

The body double sees him and runs away.

Sam: Hey! Get back here!

The body double was surprisingly good at avoiding Sam and dodging his attacks. He put up a valiant effort of fighting back but was caught and got shot in the head.

Sam: Oh yeah! That felt good!

Angel: Grab the pocket watch he has. It echoes his bio-signature to every machine in the immediate area so his body doubles can do everything the real Jack can do

Sam grabs the watch.

Angel: It also records audio. Jack loved the praise of his underlings. We need to create a voice modulator so you can speak in Jack's voice. Get to an info kiosk

Sam does just that and plays the audio.

Jack: Did you know that some people on this planet still believe in silly superstitions like angels, demons and ancient alien warriors? We like to call them bandits

Sam: Oh god..

Angel: We need a few more samples of Jack's voice. Get to another info kiosk

Sam finds another kiosk and plays the audio.

Jack: Hey kids! Did you know your chances of being disemboweled increase by eighty thousand percent upon leaving Opportunity? It's a scientific fact!

Angel: I know his voice is annoying, but I almost have what I need to make you a voice modulator. Just keep playing those info kiosks, I promise it'll be worth it.

Sam finds and activates another kiosk.

Jack: Did you know you're staring at the future site of the Opportunity pleasure palace? That's right, for a thousand bucks, you'll be able to spend an hour with a life-sized likeness of me!

Sam: Ugh..

Angel: Only two more left, just a little while longer

Sam reaches another kiosk.

Jack: Hey kids! Did you know your mommies and daddies gave up so your family could live in Opportunity? Literally nothing! Your family is paid to be here. I'm the one who feeds and protects everyone. Remember: we should all love our parents, but love me more

Angel: I only need one more sample, you're almost done

Sam goes to the final kiosk.

Jack: Did you know littering in Opportunity is punishable by death? If not, you also oughta know complaining about Opportunity's laws is considered verbal littering

Sam: Scumbag..

Angel: I have what I need now, get to a control room and I'll get you that voice modulator

Sam gets to the control area and quickly uploads the samples.

Angel: I see the files, this will only take a moment

A moment passes and the voice modulator was ready. Sam grabs it.

Angel: Great! Now unfortunately, you will speak in Jack's voice until you reach the security door. I will tell you the password to open it at the appropriate time

Sam: Wait, so I'm gonna be speaking like Jack the whole time or-

Sam's voice was changing.

Sam: And now I sound like an scumbag.. great

His voice was exactly like Jack. Suddenly Angel screams in pain.

Sam: Angel!

Jack: You seriously thought you could hide from me Angel? Is that what you thought? Say goodbye to your friend Angel. Say it!

Angel: See you soon

Sam: I'm coming Angel! Don't worry!

Jack: If you know what's best for you, you will stay away from her. Or I will make you suffer

Sam: Bring it!

Jack: A shame you're going to die so young

Sam contacts Roland.

Sam: Roland, it's Sam. I got Jack's bio-signature and a voice modulator. I'm on my way back now

Roland: Good work soldier. We have what we need now. Angel's kept her part of the bargain, surprisingly. Time to return the favor. Now we steal ourselves a Vault Key

Sam heads back to Sanctuary and walks in on Roland and Lilith arguing about something.

Lilith: This isn't a discussion. You're not going without me. Period.

Roland: Look I need you here protecting Sanctuary. If this turns out to be a trap. I need you here to keep these people safe.

Lilith: Is this because Angel told me not to come? It is isn't it?

Roland: Lilith, dammit, would you just trust me? Okay?

Lilith sighs.

Lilith: If you get killed. I'm gonna be really pissed!

Roland: Noted

Lilith: If you live. I'm tearing those clothes right off your body!

Roland blushes.

Roland: Also.. also noted

Mordecai: Eugh! Lilith, we're standing right here! Nobody wants to hear that!

Brick: Go on

Roland: Oh.. hey Soldier

Sam: Do we have everything we need?

Roland: Yeah. Time to think up some memorable last words

Everyone forms around the center.

Roland: This is it everybody. Lilith, Mordecai? You're protecting the city. Brick'll provide air support from Thousand Cuts, Sam will storm the front and take down the bunker, and I'll climb up to Angel's control room from the cliff face. Any questions?

Mordecai: Yeah, why ain't I going? I gotta pay Hyperion back for Bloodwing!

Roland: And you will. But for now. I need you protecting Sanctuary in case this is just another trap? You'll get your payback Mordecai. I promise

Mordecai: As long as you say so Roland

Roland: Sam. We have a shot at stealing the Vault Key, and stopping Jack from waking the Warrior. All you have to do is get past a forcefield that'll atomize you, destroy a bunker carrying enough firepower to level a continent, and get through a door you can't possibly open

Mordecai: That's his way of saying "we're probably gonna die"

Roland: It's time to get Claptrap to Thousand Cuts. We need him to shut down the forcefield

Lilith: Make it painful guys

Brick: This is gonna be fun!

Sam: I'm coming Angel..

Sam heads off to see Claptrap.