After The End: Book 1

16. Nowhere closer

Naomis POV

"I'm worried about him," Niall told me as he stared longingly in Louis direction. "I'm worried about both of them."

I glanced at Louis who was deep in conversation with the doctor. I wanted to know what they were saying so badly, but I would know soon enough when Louis returned.

Niall was right to be worried. Even if Harry survived, he and Louis would both be traumatized by this. I was traumatized too. Harry wasn't in front of me though. Louis was, and I could see everything in his demeanor was different than I had ever seen him. The last time we'd brought Harry to the hospital, Louis had been an anxious mess but his primary emotion had been that of someone entirely peeved. I remembered how he had walked into the hospital room and immediately started giving Harry shit for putting him through it. I saw nothing of the same attitude in him now. He was lifeless and terrified and defensive. I watched him flinch as a door slammed.

"They're incredibly codependent," Niall added looking down at the floor. That, I could also agree with.

I nodded. "They rely on each other though. They offer each other different things."

Niall laughed although he didn't seem particularly amused. "Louis mother's him and Harry cooks and cleans when he's not coked out. It's toxic."

I cringed and frowned at the ground.

"Wait," Niall said realizing my demeanor. "I didn't mean it like that. I know that they're friends. Trust me I know they do more for each other. It's just..." he trailed off.

"I get it," I admitted. "But they don't have anybody but each other. Besides Lou, you're the only other sober person that bothers to check up on him."

Niall dropped a small smile. "Louis has got you."

I frowned. So Louis hadn't told anyone about my hiatus. I felt stupid and silly now for avoiding him. He'd almost died today. I'd almost let him die after 2 weeks of near complete silence. "I'm not dependable," I muttered. "This is the first time he's heard from me in weeks."

Niall looked as though he wanted to ask questions and then thought better of it. "If it's any consolation, he never even mentioned it. Harry bragged about you on Louis behalf and Louis never moved to correct him. He only had praises for you."

I blushed. Inwardly, all I felt was guilt. Louis was a good person. He was loving and forgiving and I'd taken advantage of that to give myself space, because I didn't know how to communicate. I was pathetic by comparison. He never would have done that to me.

"Why did you keep calling?" I changed the subject. "Harry, I mean. Your bandmates seemed really bent out of shape over him. But you stayed in touch. You came to the hospital for him."

Niall looked deep in thought. "Harry... his entire life has been entirely unfair. The poor lads own mother was a monster. When he needed help, we all noticed but didn't know what to do. We kept acting like we were helping him by keeping it all quiet but really we were just protecting his career. It was selfish. We didn't want to go down with him. Then things imploded anyways and we all had our own feet to stand on. Except Harry was literally just a teenager still. And he had nothing but a mile long list of problems and nobody but Louis was even willing to look at him."

His summation of events was horrific. I didn't even know what to say, but Niall wasn't done.

"Then he overdosed. He'd been clean for months by the way. He was actually thriving despite the fact that some horrific things had happened to him and then the band was put on hiatus. Everyone blamed his overdose but we'd actually been given the heads up a week prior. Then on that day a lot of shit was really getting to him and things seemed off so I called Louis over and the next thing I know, Louis screaming for us to call an ambulance and Harry's cold on the floor. We didn't even know where the drugs came from. We were all upset. We all went our separate ways and a few weeks later I was laying in bed and I couldn't stop thinking about it. It just didn't make sense."