After The End: Book 1

20. Better

Harry's POV

"You didn't want me to walk yesterday," I complained. "You actually got very angry."

The nurse scowled at me, instructing me forward as we made our wobbly steps down the hospital corridor. They had woken me up for what they called "mobility exercise" which was just fancy words for walking. I was more coordinated than the previous day, but my limbs felt sluggish and disconnected from my brain. Still, I was making it several steps before I'd pause to complain to the nurse. Truly it was because I needed the break, but I didn't want her to know that.

Other things felt better that morning. My chest didn't hurt as bad. I had agreed to drink orange juice at breakfast as opposed to nothing and my thoughts, though still very confused and disorganized, had slowed down. I still felt like I was walking around with a fish bowl around my head, but I felt manageable. On the flip side, the lights still hurt to look at and the filter on my words still was completely non existent.

"Harry," the nurse said my name loudly.

I flinched and then realized I'd stopped wordlessly again and that she'd lost my attention completely. I looked back at her. "I'm tired," I said hoping she'd miss my confusion. My focus was still terrible. I wondered how much of me would actually come back. How much would things improve? I had calmed down considerably since the previous day but I still had anxiety about how messed up I actually was.

The nurse nodded, seemingly seeing through me. "You have the optional appointment," she reminded me.

I'd forgotten about that already. I forgot most little things. Every time the doctor would check on me, she would first tell me three words and then ask me to remember them for later. I never remembered all of them, but I tried really hard to. It was disorienting. My brain just wouldn't connect. The nurse had mentioned the appointment when waking me up that morning too. I thought about it for a second in the hallway before looking back at her. "I can go to that."

She looked pleased with my agreement before sliding a wheelchair off the wall and telling me to sit. I rolled my eyes trying to continue down the hall on foot, but she wheeled it beside me and after a minute more of forcing myself down the corridor, I paused and accepted the ride. Her smile was smug. My scowl wasn't.

She took me down a floor and into what looked like a small conference room. The tables were all pushed aside and the chairs were lined in a circle in the middle of the room. Each of the 10 chairs were occupied by what looked to be other patients, except one at the head of the circle. In it, sat an older male doctor looking up at me with a smile.

"I've got another for you," the nurse said happily wheeling me into the circle.

The doctor held out his hand to shake mine but I  just nodded to him. I didn't want him to see my shaky hands and I didn't think I'd be able to hold them still based on the budding anxiety and random spasms.

The doctor seemed to take my reluctance well and as the nurse walked out, he looked back to the group. "Well now that everyone's here, let's introduce ourselves," he suggested.

A blonde girl from across the circle piped up immediately, pointing at me. "That's Harry Styles."

I sighed disappointed by her outburst. I'd expected that, but it didn't make me any less uncomfortable especially in my current state. Being famous felt like a very far away concept. "That's not very anonymous of you," I muttered with raised eyebrows.

I was greeted with snickers from the circle which would have been nice except for the ringing it caused in my ears as my head darted around trying to keep up with the voices.

"I want to remind you all that this is an anonymous space," the doctor reiterated as if I hadn't just said that.

"I... I don't mind," I muttered trying to look up at the expectant faces of the group. "I know that people know me." The nurse had told me to expect it and to not care anyways. I actually really liked that nurse. I would need to stop being so difficult with her.