Jeremike-You're Different than the others

Chapter 18: Panic

            Jeremy’s POV
        I wish that I could trust Mike more. I would tell him everything, if I trusted him enough. It’s not that I didn’t, just not enough to tell him something so personal. I mean me knowing about his family matters is extremely personal, but throughout my life I haven’ trusted many people. I lost my trust in my dad years ago, and my mom is dead. That leaves barely anyone, maybe just a few people I used to know. I felt something wet run down my face, I was crying. That wasn’t uncommon I wiped the hot tears off my face with my jacket sleeves. My apartment seemed so lonely without someone in it besides me. My eyes trailed over to my desk which had stacks of papers from colleges and even high school. Along with the mess was a small framed photo of my mom. The tears began pouring down my face. I leaned back into my couch, thinking horrible things. I missed my mom dearly, and wished that I could see her. Heck, I would kill myself if I wasn’t such a big wimp. Like my dad always said I was! I couldn’t even trust my only friend! It was like I couldn’t even enjoy my life for once! It has always been dull and it’s all my fault! What is wrong with me…
        Mike’s POV (Yes, I’m leaving it there for Jeremy…not for long)
        I guess I didn’t know how similar Jeremy and I were. It can’t believe I didn’t notice. How shy he was, how he hated the topic of parents, how was always so good with kids at the pizzeria but he hated seeing them go to their mothers. He had lost his mother! I felt so stupid for not noticing that I ended up slamming my face into my steering wheel. That sure surprised the driver in front of me. Good thing it was a red light. I felt a small grin spread onto my face, at least something was going right today. Once the light turned green I turned the wheel and headed down the street. I was completely exhausted from staying up for a full 24 hours and was ready to practically pass out. Thankfully my house was only a few minutes away from here. That’s when I heard my phone ring. I hadn’t expected a call from anyone so it caught me off guard. Since I was a smart driver I pulled over into an empty parking lot and looked to see who was bugging me so early in the morning. I didn’t even bother to check the caller ID before I whipped the phone open and answered.
        “Who the fuck is this?!” My blood ran cold as I heard a faint voice on the other line.
        “M-Mike! Is t-that you?” I nearly dropped the phone, he sounded sad. Good thing I gave him my number before we left work. My hands were shaking and I could feel my heart beak faster. Something was terribly wrong. “M-Mike! Are y-you there?” I took a deep breath and answered.
        “Yeah, I’m here.”
        “C-could you come o-over to my h-house, if it’s n-not to m-much t-trouble?” Jeremy was taking deep breaths that echoed through my phone. I think he was having a panic attack, not a good thing. I put the car in drive and began backing out of the parking lot.
        “Of course! I’m on my way, hold on!” I swear I would have speed if it wasn’t for the fact I didn’t want to my license taken away. After driving through the maze of cars trying to get to their jobs I got to Jeremy’s place. I wasted no time in slamming my car door shut and bolting for the apartment building. I ran to the elevator and looked on the small list that displayed residents until I found Fitzgerald. His room was 287. I pressed the button in the elevator and waited impatiently for it to take me to his room. I banged on the door, probably disturbing some people that lived nearby. “Jeremy!” No answer. I did something I probably should have done earlier, tried opening the door. It was unlocked thankfully and I bolted inside. “Jeremy where are you?!” The apartment was pretty dark, with the shades pulled shut and no lamps on. I franticly looked around his apartment until I felt something grab me from behind and pull me close. I knew who it was right away, especially because I heard sniffling. I turned around to see Jeremy with tears streaming down his face, his hair a mess, and a look of panic across his face. My first instinct was to hug him. I reached out and pulled Jeremy close to my chest, I could feel his heart beat. Jeez, what happened to him? His heart is pounding. His was clinging to my shirt, taking huge breaths. He was practically hyperventilating. I slowly pet his head, my other hand resting on the ground. Somehow we ended up on the floor with him sitting in my lap. It felt awkward but that was the last thing on my mind. I heard him speak up through his sobs.
        “M-Mike.”
        “Yes?”
        “I’m w-worthless a-aren’t I?” I felt my heart break.
        “Why would you say that Jeremy?!” It took all my strength to keep me from yelling at him. I needed to stay calm in order to help him.
        “E-everyone’s always s-said that Mike! They d-didn’t care a-and now e-everyone thinks I shouldn’t be here! T-they want m-me to die!” My heart was breaking right now. Jeremy’s screams echoed throughout the apartment.
        “Jeremy no one think that! You shouldn’t di-“He cut me off.
        “Yes they do Mike! I’m the reason m-my mother is d-dead! If I was n-never born she w-wouldn’t have gotten sick a-a-and then my d-dad would be h-happy and then everyone I’ve ever met would be happy! Everyone was right! I c-can’t do anything right, I can’t e-even trust anyone!” I hugged Jeremy tighter and began to tell him how fucking wrong he was.
        “I don’t get it Jeremy, why would you say that! Your mother is gone because she got sick, not because of you! She would be so proud of you right now, I mean come on! You face those furry fuckers every night and live! You aren’t worthless no matter what anyone else says! Don’t ever believe that! I know how it feels and it never ends well! The road is not that way you want to go!” I was nearly crying here, too much from the past in one day. I heard Jeremy let out a small gasp and he began to cry more. I held his frail body close, slowly petting his hair to ease his mental pain. We stayed there for god knows how long. It’s probably been an hour of Jeremy saying horrible, heart wrenching things about himself and me disproving them. His sobs turned into hiccups and his heart finally slowed down to a pace that I knew wasn’t going to kill him. I better make a note to make it so Jeremy has comfort during panic attacks. That was terrifying even for me. Jeremy looked up at me with his beautiful amber eyes. They were covered in tears so I wiped the away with the back of my hand. His adorable face lit up in a faint blush making me chuckle. “”By the way Jeremy, if you repeat I word I said I will deny it to hell.” Jeremy let out a giggle and replied.
        “Don’t worry Mike, I won’t.” Then he murmured something that I barely caught something about me and trust. “I’m so close to trusting you.”
A/N: OH MY GOSH GUYS I AM SO SORRY ABOUT UPDATES BEING SO SCARCE. My laptop got the blue screen of death twice so I’m having my uncle fix it and reinstall updates and such and I forgot update. School is tearing me apart right now. I really feel horrible for no updating and I hope you guys still like the story!!! PLEASEFORGIVEMEI’MJUSTSOMEJEREMIKEFANGIRLOHMYGOSHIHOPEYOUUNDERSTAND!!!!!!