no Shuyaku wa Wareware da (Wrwrd)

Shinpei God~ Little by Little

You always thought that Shinpei hated you.

Perhaps you were just too dense to decipher his true feelings through that stoic demeanor, but so far, he'd never acknowledged you as anything beyond a partner. A lover, yes, but only on the surface. Of course, you couldn't expect him to suddenly fall for you despite your few and formal meetings. The meeting was purely political, as it was meant to be.

It didn't matter if you two barely knew each other. As long as you had a good reputation, you were compatible.

And, well, it wasn't as if you necessarily disliked the arrangement. Sometimes, you wondered how it'd be like if you partner someone who truly loved you. But for the most part, you were thankful that Shinpei wasn't a violent person. If you could ignore his occasional tantrums, that is. Despite his aloof attitude, he'd never once raised a hand on you. He was probably the 'best' partner you could have for someone who was forced to be with a stranger for the sake of their reputation.

Regardless, there were some things that only you - his lover - could do, even if your partnership was entirely loveless. Because despite your toleration for each other, you shared his hardship of leading a medic in the organization, being a nurse yourself.

One of them was supporting him.

Obviously, you didn't have to partner him just to support him. But Shinpei had always been distant even to his trusted retainers, and you doubted he had any friends. Therefore, it was up to you as his closest person to encourage him.

And now was the right time to do it.

If only you knew how...

Perhaps it was ingrained, because even in the confines of his room, there was an impenetrable bubble around him. His posture was regal, as expected of a god, but you could see his face was slightly gloomier than usual. Something must be troubling him for sure... You wondered how long until he threw a fit, if at all. It often startled you, and you'd jokingly thought that maybe you'd die from cardiac arrest like a human later.

"Shinpei...?" you called out hesitantly, closing the book you'd been reading. He merely hummed, still engrossed in whatever paperwork he was doing. It was one of those rare times where you managed to be alone with him in your room, and even then, he was still doing his work.

Maybe he did that just so he could avoid you...

You faintly sighed and put the book on the nightstand. While you wouldn't deny that the awkwardness was killing you, it still wasn't good to keep working. In just a few hours, the sun would set and another day would commence. What would happen if he suddenly fainted during a meeting? It was highly unlikely, but the chance existed nonetheless.

And, also, you didn't want to hear another thunder suddenly blaring in the sky.

Rising from the bed, you hesitantly approached his sitting figure and stood behind him. Maybe you could do something to prevent his tantrum, but what? A massage? That... didn't sound too bad. In theory, that is. Although you'd slept together, sexually or not, doing something so intimate was embarrassing.

No, you quickly shook your head, there was nothing intimate in a harmless massage. You'd done the same thing to your mother before, so it shouldn't be very different, right? And besides, you were somewhat confident in your massaging skills. If he refused, you'd peacefully back down. And if he accepted, well, that'd be great.

But, first, should you ask for his permission? Or should you go straight to your intention? The former was more polite, but also more nerve-wracking. You rarely initiated things to him, especially out of your own accord. What if he became suspicious of you? But if you did the latter, he might be angry at you instead.

... Well, nothing would happen if you didn't try, right?

Slowly, you put your hands on his broad shoulders and began to massage them. Shinpei stiffened, and you immediately stopped when he turned his head.

"What are you doing?"

"Massaging you." Ah, it seemed that you were being too brazen. You couldn't read his face, either. "Unless, you don't want me to...?"

Shinpei stared at you for a moment, his paper mask was out of his face showing you his tired expression. Most likely judging your sincerity, before averting his gaze back to the papers that scattered on the table. "... Do what you want."

You smiled and confidently kneaded his shoulders again. Of course, who would reject a free massage? And from your own partner, nonetheless. You could feel him slowly relaxing under your touch, and the kinks smoothened one by one.

"I know things have been hectic lately," Before you knew it, the words flowed from your mouth. Maybe it was the mood and his tacit permission that grew your confidence. "but I just want you to know that they'll get better soon, as they always are. You have many people who support you, and of course, me too. So don't hesitate to rely on us, alright? We don't want anything to happen to our beloved health God ."

You bent down and pecked his temple, missing the way his golden eyes instantly widened. "And I'd hate to see anything happen to my lover, too. So please, don't force yourself and take a rest."

Arranging his blue hair so it cascaded down his back, and adjusting his halo, you smiled at him and returned to the bed. You were the one who massaged him, and yet, you were the one who got sleepy.

... Well, at least, you'd done your best in cheering him up even for a little. Your ears and heart were saved.

A large hand touched his temple as he stared at the wall before him dazedly, the warmth of your lips lingered against the skin. You'd always been neutral to him, so why was it different now? Were you trying to gain his favor? But you should've told him instead of going straight to the bed. And what could you possibly want from him when you had all the authority to get it yourself?

What if... what if you were starting to love him?

Shinpei clasped a hand over his mouth, cheeks flushing. No, that wasn't true, was it? It was rare for royalty to love each other, especially in a political relationship. Rare, but not impossible.

And he was the lucky one to be among those people.

Glancing at your sleeping form, he slowly lowered his hand and smiled faintly. Maybe... maybe it wasn't that bad. Although his feelings for you were muddied now, the fact that someone loved him - romantically even - was nice. He'd long resigned to the fact that he'd never get a soulmate, unless he became a peasant. And even then, people would still fear him.

Shinpei stood up and approached the bed, careful not to rouse you. It'd never occurred to him how beautiful you looked, how serene your slumbering face was. He'd met so many gorgeous women and handsome men - both aristocrats and peasants, fairies and humans - until your face just sort of... blurred into the background. He wondered if this was what the identity felt when he first saw the sleeping princess; awe, pity, and... love.

Love.

You loved him. That was the only conclusion of your actions earlier, right? Otherwise, you wouldn't have done that. And because he was a generous being and gentleman, he'd repay your kindness.

Little by little, he'd learn to love you.

Little by little, he'd open himself to you.

And little by little, he'd fully possess you.

Leaning down, Shinpei closed his golden eyes and kissed your forehead; the first, true affection he'd shown to you.

Not emptily, not coldly, but lovingly. And it certainly wouldn't be the last time he'd done that.

Because a god always lavished his beloved in riches and affection.

And a god never shared.

~•~•~

(Hey guys, I'm starting to right the fanfic, already in chapter 6, like I said, I try to update this book best as I can, btw I'm in college, so, I have to do my work and studies as well. Bye bye~)