Random One Shots

Oneshot 1 - Anxceit

*Picture by goodieghosty on tumblr*

I continued to ignore them.

We were gathered at the table, all of us sides. We were supposed to be talking about 'what was best for Thomas'. Which was stupid, because you'd think we all would have figured out that we can't come to a solution unless Thomas is here to merge what we all want into something acceptable. So I ignored their consistent arguing because the last thing Thomas needed right now was an anxiety attack. As good as I was at attacking Thomas, I didn't need that problem either.

So I continued drawing, consistent with zoning out unless my name was said. They argued back and forth till I was pulled back by the last part of someone saying "... Virgil would be listening.". Then it was quiet so I looked up, pausing my drawing. They were staring at me, waiting.

I realized that Roman was the one who spoke, clearly still mad at me about last week. He always held a grudge. I raised my brow and waited, my pulse quickening in the slightest. Again, the last thing I needed was this.

"You want to pay attention?" Roman questioned rudely.

"Nah, I'm good." I replied simply.

Good thing my hood was up so I didn't have to flip it up at the moment. It was so much safer inside my hoodie, or so I liked to believe. It was just easier. They seemed a little upset about me not listening.

"Well, since we all know I won't pay attention, maybe I can leave." I suggested with a shrug, leaning back into my spinny chair.

Patton wanted something fun and comfortable and Logan wanted something a little more professional, so this is what we got. We waited quietly for a moment. I could tell they hated the suggestion.

"Or, maybe you could try to participate, kiddo..?" Patton asked softly.

He sat next to me, the seating order because they thought he would be the best to help me calm down if I got out of hand. But that was ridiculous because if anything, he made me more anxious. But I didn't like to hurt the poor guy's feelings so I nodded in agreement, closing my sketchbook. We all knew how sensitive Patton was.

We continued on into the topic, a small sense of friction still there. I waited for the lighter and then it showed. Next thing I know, they're all arguing again. Janus, Roman, and Logan against each other while Remus smiled and put in unnecessary comments. Patton tried to calm them down.

I picked at my pencil, forcing myself to breathe so I didn't snap and break all over again. I closed my eyes and shut them out for a moment, but it didn't work. They argued, worse and worse, louder and louder. Back and forth about sensitive issues and me. I could feel it coming, feel it starting. But they were all too busy to notice that the room had gone a shade darker, the shadows barely starting to creep.

Then it really started.

I lost it and my breathing became abnormal, my pulse quickened, my heart beat speeding up, making it worse. I put my hand to my head, rubbing my temples so my mind would regain control. I felt a small force inside of me and grabbed, trying to pull everything back together. Usually I could manage, but then Roman just had to say the words.

"Noone needs him here, especially Thomas!" He yelled.

My eyes opened, everything freezing. They knew I was always on the line of whether I was needed or not. Their arguing continued, everything in me trying to stop and block it out. I was so caught once again that I hadn't noticed that force inside of me grow strong until it was too late. I tried to grab it and force it back, closing my eyes and trying to erase everything Roman had just said from my mind but it got the best of me.