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(conversations with a gentleman)
I SAT QUIETLY BY JEM'S BEDSIDE. I had barely managed to convince Will to leave moments earlier, and it was only when he'd caught himself falling asleep for the third time that he indeed realised that he'd be no help to Jem in such a tired state. Even then I had to push him gently out.
As I looked at Jem's still form I felt a twang of pity in my chest. He deserved none of this, none of what Gabriel had deemed his 'disability'. Jem was the most kind hearted person I knew. Not to be mistaken for weak as the two often were.
Jem was the reason to my and Will's shared impulsivity. The tranquil to our erratic.
As his silvery head stirred against the pillows, the colours blending into one another, I jolted upright.
''Jem,'' I whispered. As he came too the boy smiled. ''Darcie,'' he greeted, trying to sit up. I rushed forwards trying to convince him to stay down. He waved me off.
''I'm fine, just tired, that was all.''
As much as I knew Will would throw a fit it he knew what I was doing, I swallowed thickly and nodded, sitting back down in my chair. Bustling around people only irritated them, it made them feel incapable, useless.
At the mere thought of Will, another one of his poems I'd read this morning arose to the forefront of my mind.
''A myriad of fantasies run across the sky,
each one a future not meant for you and I,
for you and I are not meant to be,
and everyday I'm taunted by impossibility.''
Will's words oddly hurt as I never imagined they could. They struck a chord deep inside me. Before my face could display any form of discomfort I'd smothered it- or so I thought.
Jem's brows furrowed. ''What is it?'' He spoke gently.
My eyes shot up. ''What do you mean?''
''Your in pain.'' He spoke simply.
Alarms began blaring in my mind as I stilled.
''Don't be silly.'' I laughed, dismissing his ridiculous thought.
Jem didn't seem fazed.
''I've seen and experienced enough pain- both mental and physical- throughout my short life to know what it looks like carved deep in ones soul.''
My laughter became unsure and my eyes flitted reflexively towards the door. Jem immediately picked up on it.
I knew he was wise beyond his years, yet it still discerned me. Maybe it had to do with the fact he never once fought his fate, instead accepting it. Embracing it with open arms. Constant fighting tolled a heavy weight upon you, dragging you down until there was none of you left above the surface for others to save. It was exhausting and, quite frankly alike grudges, as Jessie would say, made you old and fat.
