We Have Secrets Too

Bull in a china... barn?

A few days later, Adam stormed around the farmhouse at The Barns in a fit. He wanted to smash something, everything, but the things around him in no way belonged to him. His rage scared him in a way, he didn't want to mimic his demon of a father.

I am not him. I am better than that. This isn't who I am. I am my own person.

He grabbed fistfuls of his hair and yanked in frustration. The pain helped a little.

He'd gotten into a fight with Blue.

He didn't like fighting with the people he cared about.

He went out to the driveway and kicked the slick tires of the BMW. As he kicked, he let out strings of less than elegant profanities. He'd been spending too much time with Ronan. He wasn't entirely sure if he was swearing from frustration anymore, or if it was because of the pain in his toes.

"Who pissed in your cheerios?" Ronan crossed his arms on the back of the car, head cocked to one side, examining the situation. His skin was sunkissed from working in the fields and he looked lithe as a fox bent over the car. Adam had been in such a spiral he didn't hear him approach.

"Blue." Adam mumbled, "I mean, who does she this she is ? Gansey too, they're being so stupid ."

"Well, you know how much I love damaging property. But shit dude, not the car!"

"Just the tires!" Adam started, then, "Sorry."

"Come on."

Ronan led him to one of the many barns, one Adam hadn't been in before and shoved open the sliding doors.

He pulled a rope that caused a horrific metal-on-metal screech, and then sunlight flooded through the rafters. Inside was filled with hundreds upon hundreds of dusty ceramic plates, cups, and bowls. The floor was covered in bits of china and bullet casings; the mess was beautiful in a way. Far down the aisle, rows of decorative plate stands stood empty on a table. Adam dusted off a plate to reveal gold embedded in an intricate pattern, it was so thin he feared it would shatter in his hands.

"These look expensive." Adam commented, "Mrs. Gansey expensive."

"Probably," Ronan replied. "She'd go postal if she saw this."

Ronan took the plate from him and dunked it on the floor. He laughed wickedly when he saw Adam's horrified reaction. "Come on. If you're going to break shit, you might as well do it right."

Ronan selected a stack of plates and set them up on the table. He unlocked the feed room and pulled out safety glasses, a pair of Red Ryder bb guns, a slingshot, a baseball bat, and an assortment of throwing stars and knives.

He spread them all out on a table then picked up the bat.

"Batter up, Parrish." He handed the bat and a pair of glasses to Adam, who still looked concerned.

"Are you sure? Some of these look priceless."

"They were dreamed for breaking. Welcome to the Niall Lynch Institute for Anger Management."

Adam cracked a smile and assumed a position. Ronan pitched him the most delicate looking teacup he'd ever seen, upon contact with the bat it exploded into a million tiny pieces.

"Another." Adam demanded, then added softly, "Please."

Ronan threw a gravy boat but Adam missed, it tumbled awkwardly through the air until it smashed into the sliding door.

"Another."

Ronan pitched him a whole dinner set worth, most of which Adam missed. Adam's triumphant smile at every good hit was contagious, Ronan found himself smiling and laughing along. They eventually grew bored and turned to the table of weapons. Adam picked up one of the bb guns and clicked the safety off. He aimed down the aisle and pulled the trigger, he hit a plate dead-center causing it to break in half. Ronan dug up some butter knives and notched one in the slingshot with a devilish grin. He was a pretty good shot and most would hit their mark, but every now and then one would fly off and cause stacks of plates to crash to the floor. They filled the barn with the musical chorus of shattering glass. Adam had never had a chance to destroy things with such repose, breaking something usually meant having to pay for it, either with a new bruise across his brow or with cash that he couldn't afford to spare. Satisfied with his plate massacre and his annoyance from earlier long forgotten, Adam found a seat by the sheet metal wall to watch Ronan.

Ronan was launching teacups at other teacups with the slingshot. He had yet to miss a shot, even when he began to use full-size dinner plates as ammo. Adam wondered how much time Ronan had to have spent in here to pull that off.

The room was filled with orange and red as the sun began to set, and Ronan came over and held out a hand to pull Adam to his feet. They set off to the house, holding hands in the waning light.

Adam pulled the door open, but Ronan gently pushed it closed.

"You don't still like her, do you?"

Adam turned to face him, "Blue? No. I'm happy they're together. Her and Gansey are perfect for each other." He stroked his hand down Ronan's head, it was prickly from not being shaved, then added, "And so are we."

Ronan smiled, nodded, and pushed Adam against the farmhouse door to kiss him. Despite the warm, humid Virginia night, Adam shivered. Ronan felt it and pulled away, but Adam hooked his fingers through Ronan's belt loops to pull him back in.

"Thank you," Adam whispered, loosening his grip. "For today."

Ronan pulled one of Adam's hands to his mouth and kissed it softly, "Thank you for existing."