UNDERCOVER - Dark Fire Data (Book 3)

Part 22 - False Aralias

I went back upstairs hoping to scrounge breakfast but before I got to the kitchen I heard a noise from the bathroom. Rico was on his knees examining the floorboards. I was surprised to see Kozak helping him.   'You're working early.'

'Hi, Ziff,' Rico mumbled.  'We are renovating the bathroom for Eric Bragg and we decided to live here until we finish the job?'

'You are staying here, in Mr Bragg's apartment,' I asked in surprise, 'with Emma and Beryl?'

Rico grinned impishly. 'Emma makes the best ravioli in Ottawa. We decided to start a commune.'

 'A commune? What happens when Mr Bragg comes back and finds a whole mob of people living in his apartment?'

Rico scratched his head. 'Oh, I'll tell him I had to hire a few helpers to get the work done more quickly.'

'You are living here too?' I asked Kozak. I looked at his shabby clothes. 'Your suit looks like it came from a second hand clothing store. Murga doesn't pay you?'

''E pays me only expenses,' he said with a sheepish smile, 'and everything cost so much 'ere. I 'av' to get a job. And, if Onderdonk does not 'elp me, I will be stuck 'ere.' Kozak laughed cynically

 Jeremy stuck his head through the doorway. 'Breakfast is served.' 

 We all trooped into the kitchen just before Grandma arrived, wearing her black and yellow jogging suit. Beryl came in wearing a dressing gown with a desert digital camouflage pattern.

 'Spaghetti and meat balls?' I asked Emma. 'Do these guys eat anything else?' 

 'Not unless it is Christmas,' she laughed as she ladled food into Rico's dish.

'Datza not true,' Rico said exaggerating his Italian accent, 'We love-a da peet-za also.' 

 'Yes, please, may I have some too?' I asked. Emma's spaghetti sounded much better than beans on toast.

'Mmm, this is fabulous,' Rico said. Pacman hopped onto his lap and sniffed hopefully until Rico filled his dog dish with spaghetti and placed it on the floor. He laughed. 'Pacman loves spaghetti. You're sure he's a dog?'

'He has the soul of an Italian wolf,' I dead-panned.

After breakfast Emma said, 'Rico, there's a light in the bedroom closet. Come and see what you think it is.' 

 Grandma was standing in Mr Bragg's master bedroom staring at a bright light from the door of a large built-in closet. Rico opened the door cautiously. The closet walls were covered with aluminum foil which reflected the light from three large fluorescent lamps. Several pots, containing small plants with narrow pointed leaves, were hanging, on chains, in the middle of the closet near the floor. Pacman sniffed at the pots as if ready to mark his territory.

'They look like marijuana plants,' Rico said . . . 'I saw some on TV,' he added quickly.

Grandma frowned and marched back to the kitchen where Jeremy was making a pot of coffee. 'What's with the lights in the bedroom closet?' she demanded.

'Oh, it's only an experiment,' Jeremy replied innocently. 

 She glared at him. 'Why didn't you tell us you were growing things in the master bedroom.'

'It's my latest idea,' Jeremy said enthusiastically. I figure there's a good market for hydroponically grown house plants.'

 'The marijuana market?' Grandma snapped sarcastically.

'No. No. That used to be illegal,' Jeremy exclaimed indignantly. 'But, these are False Aralias and low THC hemp, both very attractive house plants.' 

 'Are you sure they're not marijuana plants?' Beryl sounded disappointed. 'I haven't had a good toke in a coon's age.'

Jeremy laughed. 'There is virtually no THC. That's tetra-hydro-cannabinol,' he explained. 'You can smoke these plants until your tongue turns black. It tastes awful. And, anyway we call it cannabis now.' 

'Well,' Grandma said. 'You're going to pay for the extra hydro. Fake potted pot! Indeed!'

'Okay,' Jeremy agreed as he rolled spaghetti around his fork. 'I've been checking the garden outlets. I reckon I can make five dollars a plant, 'but, if that doesn't work, I am going to try Shiitake mushrooms.'

I started giggling helplessly as I imagined Mr Bragg's bedroom filled with giant mushrooms.

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