interstellar ✓

the sky was dark.

it was the kind of dark that might remind you of that black persian fur coat that you might have kept unworn inside your closets. it was the kind of dark, where sitting in front of the fireplace and reading a book or a paper, with a warm cup of coffee; without worrying about tomorrow - seemed heavenly. it was the kind of dark which makes you over-enthusiastic and fills you to your very brim with the urge to stay up late and watch the stars light up like the colour of blues in your palette. it was the kind of dark that felt nothing like dark; it was a dark that was lighter than any darkness inside the day.

the sky was majestic in his silver spring that had guarded him. it was the beginning of winter, the leaves had fallen and crushed with utmost concern. the new york city, at it's very will, decorated it's streets with lamps and snow and people; and the sky, just above its head, was like a crown, furnished with a thousand stars lingering, blinking and existing.

And amongst every little wisp of the night, she knew she belonged there; among the cursed, among the most deadly celestial bodies; among the stars. among one of them.

she knew her mother would probably get mad at her if she would barge into her room right at this moment. she knew she could get detention if she woke up late for school. she knew her bike would be tainted by the time lunch hour would end and she knew she couldn't do anything about it. despite everything, she slid through the upper corridor and opened the door. it was something worth every risk.

but it was not just "a door". it was the door with that it linked heaven. it was the door to the eternity which she craved from deep within. it was the door of calamity which could turn down all chaos with a fling of a finger. and, she slid through it, allowing the cold freezing wind to caress her.

perhaps to anyone it would be something too trivial to romanticize word upon word to, but perhaps to her that's what she excelled in. blant, lewd, hopeless romanticism. and, somehow she was satisfied.

she felt a nerve throb just above her eye as she pulled her thin knee length blanket before pulling her knees to her chest. she wondered if that was because of the amount of sleep she gets. perhaps it was but there was barely anything she could do about it for sleep was never somewhere around her.

how could she sleep with all the noises around? how could she sleep with the noises inside her head, thoughts running wild? she needs time to think everything through. she needs to sort everything - every thought into cubes and place it into blocks on both sides. she needs to think about everyone and everything before she could close those dull eyes of hers.

she has promised that if she ever sleeps, it would be the last and eternal sleep; one she could never wake up from. wouldn't that be just wonderful?

she pushed all her thoughts when she heard her phone buzz from her room. she sighed and felt a numbness drawing in. it could be her ex-boyfriend trying to play the fool and that mere thought of him trying to "win" her back makes her even more pathetic.

she was no fool. everyone read the note he wrote to her anonymously: "i don't love you anymore." she was not dumb; at least not as much her ex-boyfriend thought her to be. so, when the class had to confess something, how could he have thought that she wouldn't recognise his handwriting? they were best friends at the very least.

her eyes stung with tears but she sharply inhaled. she promised herself that she would not cry. she will never cry. not over a boy at least. crying is losing. she is not a loser. she is definitely not a loser. she was perfectly fine.

so, she tried to think of something else.

she tried to think of autumn and the pumpkins she grew at the back of the garden. she tried to think of the blankets and cardigans she picked out for school. she tried to think of her grandma who used to weave for her and her brother. the last one she made were gloves but it got a hole from last year's christmas. she couldn't wear them anymore this year.