k a y l e i g h
Ashton organised the jet to come back and take me home. I gave everyone a hug, yet, Rachel was crying in the kitchen, so I didn't hug her. I do feel bad for making him wait but it's only because I need to be able to trust him. If he can wait for me, that's absolutely amazing and I can finally trust him.
I was happy to be coming back home because even though there is nothing more me there I missed my oversized bed and the way I squint at the tv. Ashton told me he'd call me and went to kiss me until I just hugged him. Friends!
-
Home at last! I flop onto the couch and check through my mail. I saw a check with my name on it. There was a whole lot of money! I squealed. I'm glad that Zach is still helping me out. He's moved on anyway! He's dating some model. Get in there. He ditched the girl he cheated on me with and got himself a model. I can't stay mad at him forever because I'm moving on too. Stupid same girl he told me not to worry about, I cannot be mad though. Well, I can but it would be petty of me.
The other letters where just bills and some avon brochures.
a s h t o n
Two weeks! I have to wait two weeks! I mean of course I can do this, I have got work on my mind so I'm distracted. I went three years without seeing her so two weeks is nothing. Well, to be honest, three years ago when I told her I loved her, I sort of lied. I didn't love her but she loved me and I felt bad so I said it back. It's different now, I do really like her. She's changed. She's not a little girl anymore, she's older and her boobs have grown so that's always great.
"You ready to go on stage?" Luke asked me and I nodded. The crowd was roaring as we all stepped out on stage. I took my seat behind the drums and started to bang them to warm them up as the guys did the same with their guitars and basses. We then started to play the beginning of 18.
-
Sweat, sweat and a little more sweat. That's what was dripping from me. I grab a towel and wipe the sweat from my forehead. The One Direction boys gave us a pat on the back before going out there and doing their thing. I sat on my phone and answered a few fans on twitter. Calum had gone to the little showers, Michael was falling asleep on the arm chair and Luke was smiling while texting. Probably that girl he's hooking up with.
Time went on and it was time get in the minivan so we could go back to the hotel. I got my things together and got in the van. It didn't take long to get to the hotel, we where shown to our rooms, Michael and Luke ended up sharing whereas Calum and I had our own rooms. I did prefer to be on my own because it was easier to get sleep at night.
I was thankful for the free wifi, I grabbed my laptop and opened the Skype app. It said Kayleigh wasn't online yet, so I texted her saying come online because I wanted to see her, yet she told me she was getting ready for a job interview. I closed the laptop lid and lay down on the bed. No way was I going to sleep yet. I really wanted to Skype with her.
Me: Michael, you busy?
I sat up and ordered a pizza from room service. It didn't take long for the cheesy pizza to arrive and I sat eating it.
Michael: No. What's up?
Me: Nothing. Doesn't matter, go sleep, Man.
Michael: Yeah! I will.
I finished the pizza and went over to Calum's hotel room. I was about to knock before I felt my phone buzz. I checked my messages and discovered it was from Kayleigh.
Kayleigh: Interview got cancelled, wanna Skype?
I quickly ran over to my hotel room and got my laptop open again and clicked on the app. I saw Kayleigh's face pop up. She smiled and waved.
"How is everything?" She asked and I told her it was good. The shows are great.
"I wish this two weeks would hurry up, I miss your lips." I smile cheekily at her and she blushes looking down. I could see a little smile on her face. "Do you miss me?"
"Of course."
"You don't sound sur- Wait, what? Who's that?" I asked noticing a strange man in the background on his phone.
"That's Lockie." She smiled and told him to come over. I was so pissed, she was allowed to see people during this two weeks but I wasn't.
"Hi, Pal."
"Don't 'Hi, Pal' me!" I said and turned the camera off. It didn't take long for Kayleigh to message me. It should be me not trusting her!
Kayleigh: What the hell! He was trying to be nice. Maybe you should remove Luke's cock from up your ass and lighten up.
Ashton: Why didn't you tell me you was with him! Gay jokes, brilliant Kayleigh!
Kayleigh: Didn't think it was important! Shut up!
Ashton: Not important! Delete my number.
Kayleigh: You can't be serious. He's a friend.
Ashton: How do I know that?
Kayleigh: He has a fucking wife and child! But fine, fucking bye!
Ashton: Oh. I'm really sorry. Like I can believe that. Should've known you were a cheater!
Kayleigh: Error message could not be received at the moment! Too busy fucking a married guy in front of his kid. Do not text back.
I threw my phone at the wall and got into bed. I've never been so pissed off. I went to my phone to see a big crack straight down the middle. I went back onto Skype and called her three times before she picked up on the fourth.
"What part of leave me alone don't you understand."
"The part where I can't leave you alone."
She just stared at me and I felt as if she was here. I just want her to come travelling with me. I want her to be there at my proudest moments and the moments where I need my ego stroking or when I need someone to listen to my problems and for her to tell me about her day and just complain to me because I don't care what she does as long as she's by my side. I need her to be with me forever because I can't be without her.
"What did you call for?" She said with a sigh. I could tell she had, had enough of my bullshit but yet, here she was. Still trying.
"I want you to be here with me."
"Not gonna happen."
"Please, Kay, I need you here."
"I don't wanna be there. I don't want to be in your life anymore." She said and my heart sunk.
"W-what?" I asked and then she started to cry. I wanted to cry, too. I need to be strong for her.
"I thought you were something I wanted, I thought I wanted your love but I don't. I literally thought I couldn't live without it and I wanted to tell you know before we got in too deep. I thought I loved you. But I don't."
"I'm already in too deep!" I yelled and she flinched. She had earphones in. I said sorry and she smiled.
"We have to call this whole thing off. Maybe ask Rachel if she'd take you back, I know she makes you happy."
"You make me happy!" I said and swallowed the lump in my throat. She shook her head.
"Ashton, we just bring out the worst in each other. I want a healthy relationship. Nothing that's going to sink when it's gets too hard. We're both toxic."
"Is that your final decision?" I asked and she nodded before turning off the camera so I couldn't hear her cries. I lay down in bed and got under the blankets and cried myself to sleep.
This is what she must have felt when I did this to her. Maybe she's right, our relationship is like trying to fight fire with fire. Although, I would go through it all again to be with her. She's the only positive thing in my life. She is my life and without her, I can see no future. It's a dead road and I'm walking it alone.
Please come back.
