JAY | Phoenix's Death ✓

her.

+

I was in love with her while she was in love with the feeling.

An angel in the light and a devil in the night.

I was merely a material for her publicity. Somewhat like a "Yes, I'm dating the handsome loner who needs saving!"

I did need saving, and I thought you would be my light at the end of my never-ending dark tunnel.

I was wrong.

Apart from the fact that she never really loved me, she hurt me; physically and emotionally.

Sometimes I thought that maybe she was just having a bad day, that she needed some sort of way to vent it out.

"You're the fucking worst!"

That's one plate thrown, missing the bullseye known as my head, my arms took the hit instead.

Or maybe she wanted me to change to be better for myself,

"If you really loved me,
why won't you fucking help me?!

All I need you to do is
speak to your father for me!

My dad's about to lose his job, Jay!
Do you really want to lose me like this?!"

Or maybe she were just hurting.

That's 3 hard slaps and a scratch across my cheek.

After her ordeal, I'd embrace her; holding her tight in my trembling arms as I heard her pitiful sobs.

All I could do was rock her gently as I held back my tears; I was hurt too, I was in pain.

It wasn't the first time she acted this way, I should be used to it.

Days after the Night of the Broken Plates as I would call it, she broke up with me.

I couldn't tell if I was happy or sad but I was sure of one thing:

I could breathe a little better, but because of her I lost more of myself.