# 𝐉𝐀𝐘 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊:
Silver clouds
with grey linings.
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𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐒
➴ enhypen | jay park
➴ written on november 2021
➴ short story
➴ original book cover & plot
➴ all rights reserved
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I used to be able to look at myself in the mirror confidently without a care for my imperfect features.
I used to smile at my own reflection, contented with the face I was blessed with.
I used to embrace compliments and take it as ways to continue loving myself.
But now, I can't look at myself without feeling unhappy; I've become my biggest critic, pointing out my flaws and dwelling on them.
I hated myself even more as I continued dancing. The old me would've been dancing gleefully.
The old me wouldn't have cared so much about dance technicalities— the old me would live and dance in every moment as I faced the mirrors of the studio.
To look confidently into the camera filming me, and perform for myself.
But all I felt was vulnerable, all eyes on me once again; eyes waiting for me to slip up and make a joke out of myself.
I stopped doing things for me, and did it for others instead.
Now I look in the mirror and wonder if I could ever love myself again; this new version I made of myself, could I accept it?
Not now, maybe not even in the near future. I'm still trying and I hope my efforts show.
I'll continue looking in the mirror with a sob smile while I question why I'm the way I am.
Till my lost flame is restored, I am my own enemy.
