JAY | Phoenix's Death ✓

insomnia.

+

I can't sleep; body and mind clouded with crippling anxiety and an impending migraine.

My eyes are shut but I feel
shaky, suffocated.

I can't breathe.

I'm drowning in my worries and misperceptions, I feel all eyes on me again even if I'm alone.

I care too much about what others perceive me or my talents to be, my pride no longer existing.

I can't sleep and it's already 6:45AM in the morning.

I need to be strong yet I'm crumbling.
I need someone to holdout I'll end up slipping away from reality.

I'm trying to stay calm but all I do is build a tower of unnecessary expectations on my shoulders.

"Talentless is what you are,"

"You shouldn't pursue your dreams if you lack skills or confidence,"

"What a sad boy. All he ever does is work hard yet, he doesn't have a life outside school.
He's just sad,"

Suddenly, everyone's judgements and expectations of me mattered than my own.

The arms of darkness engulfed me in its embrace and I succumbed.

And at the end of day,
I don't feel alive anymore.