Stay Down

Chapter 12

"Say you love me, to my face. I'm needing more than your embrace. Just say you want me, that's all it takes. Hearts getting torn from your mistakes. Cause I don't wanna fall in love, if you don't wanna try. But all that I've been thinking of is maybe that you might."

Jessie Ware x Say you love me💕

Ava-
You ever feel empty? Or like you don't know what your next move is? Well, that's how I feel right about now. Raheem has been calling and texting my phone none stop and he is really not helping the situation. I just want him to see the wrongs in his actions. I don't think he realizes how much it hurts me when he act like my feelings don't matter to him. I don't know if I'm over reacting or not. But as of now I just want to be left alone. I know I wouldn't be left alone for that long because I had a hair appointment later today with my stylist jaleia. I sent jaleia a text telling her I would be about thirty minutes late, I just needed some time to myself to think. After I sent the text, I went in my bathroom and ran some hot water and poured the last of my Japanese cherry blossom bubble bath in the tub. As the tub filled with the sweet smelling water I stepped out of my clothing and into the bath tub. I started thinking about everything going on in my life and everything that has ever happened to me thinking it was some way I could've prevented it. When I was younger I was the only child from my father so I was a daddy's girl. Me and my daddy had a close relationship, I could tell him anything. I can't say the same for my mother, I was the middle child out of five. But you know what they say, the middle child always has the hardest life. My mother was very abusive not only physically but verbally. Whatever she was mad at at the moment she would take the frustration out on me and my siblings. My punishment most of the time was verbal abuse. She talked down on me until I felt like shit and she saw a tear come from my eyes. I hated her with a passion and after all these years, she still has the biggest impact on my life. She is the reason I'm not the woman I'm suppose to be today. She would even let all her different boyfriends touch on me and she would act like she didn't see it and even after I told her she didn't believe me. For everything she has ever did or said to me I resent her for it. I was so deep in my thoughts that I lost track of time. I looked over at the clock on my bathroom wall and saw that it said 4:00. I was running late for my hair appointment so I jumped out of the tub and threw on a Victoria secrets jogging suit and my sparkly Bailey bow uggs and headed out.

-Red
Playtime is over. I been focused on the wrong shit, it's time to get back to making this money. Even though I'm fucked up right now moves have to be made. I called up my nigga mike to see how business been lately. "Yo, what up nigga", I said when mike answered on the 2nd ring. "Man boss man you got a problem", he spat back. "What kind of problem", I asked. "Some lil niggas been stealing yo supply and you losing customers. Sales ain't really been hitting on shit lately. You gone have to get back to work." He spat. "Man I'm fucked up right now so I need you to handle my shit for a while. I got a few other niggas I got for you to link up with. Yall need to find out who stealing my shit and off them niggas without asking shit and get my shit back in order", I said furious. "That's a bet, just let me know bros", he said. "Iight my nigga, ima hit you in bout thirty to tell you where to meet them niggas at. One love", I said before hanging up. I dialed up some of my old homeboys I use to deal with back in the g. I told them my situation and they were more than happy to help. Now that I got that in order I need to focus on my recovery. Since ava up and walked out on me, I had to call the hospital and tell them I needed a nurse. The sent somebody over right away. It was my same nurse from when I was there. I was a lil excited but I know me getting my rod wet wasn't the situation at hand. Ever since she got here my leg been getting better and I just hope I be able to walk in 2 or 3 weeks. The nurse don't really talk to me, she usually just do her job and leave until one day she said something to me. "So who shot you?", she asked unexpectedly. "Old friend", I spoke. "Did you deserve it?", she asked. "What is that suppose to mean?", I asked. "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you", she spoke. "Well I'm offended", I spoke smirking. "Well I said I'm very sorry", she said. "I'm still very offended", I spat. "I tell you what. Just give me your number, address, social security number, etc and I won't mention it", I spoke causing her to laugh. "Nice try", she said walking in the bathroom. She stayed in there for about ten minutes, I wonder what the fu*k she doing. "Do you need anything else?", she asked finally stepping out the bathroom. "Yeah could you fix this", I said pointing down so she wouldn't know what I was talking about. "Fix what?", she asked as she approached me. When she look down all she saw was my man laid out on hard. Her mouth dropped. She didn't say anything she was just staring like she didn't know what to do. "So can you?", I asked slightly smirking. Next thing I know she came cross my shit so hard I thought I was tripping for a second. She ran out the house. I couldn't do anything but laugh. I'm so horny though, I'll just call ava and see what she up to. I don't mean to sound like I'm using her for sex but I really need her right now.