Stay Down

Chapter 15

Ava-
I feel so stupid. I don't even know what to feel anymore. Is that really how love is suppose to be? You can give someone your all and they just blatantly disrespect you. I understand him being mad about his phone but then again he is in a relationship and it shouldn't be a problem with me going through his phone. Right? I'm just so confused right now I don't know what to do. What I do know is I have to get out of this house. That's not the person I fell in love with and to think I actually thought we would get married after the baby. Oh well. I'm so hurt right now but I know I can't dwell on this forever. I packed all of my clothing leaving behind a few things. As I was dragging out another suitcase for my shoes Raheem walked in the room door. "You leaving me now?" He asked as if he didn't just say all that shit an hour ago. "Did you leave to go fuck one of your bitches?" I asked with tears streaming down my face. "Man you not going no where while you carrying my baby" he spat while throwing my suitcase across the room. "You're not gonna just walk all over me and I'm not gonna be your little puppy" I yelled in a harsh stern tone. "I don't wanna be with you anymore. I can't trust you and I'm tired of you breaking my heart", I spat. "Just like that huh?", he asked. "Just like that" I spoke clearly hurt. "Well since you don't want that baby shit I don't want it either especially not from you", he spoke with so much anger and hatred in his eyes where I could tell he meant it. My eyes started to water immediately. "Ok well I'll get rid of it tomorrow morning if that makes you happy", I yelled walking after him. "Do you, I don't give a fuck. Then, you won't have to be around me no more" he spoke in a harsh but calm tone. That just hurt my heart because I felt my heart break inside my chest. I can't believe he just told me that. I tried so hard to hold back my tears but it didn't work I burst out and started boo hoo crying, I just laid on the floor in the hall until I dosed off. I woke up the next morning still on the floor. Obviously he's not here because it's too quiet and he snores. I got up and got in the shower for about 30 minutes as I thought about my life and washed my hair repeatedly. I got out and just stood in the mirror. I look exhausted, I have bags under my eyes and my eye lids are so red and puffy. I looked down at my stomach and realized what I was suppose to be doing this morning. But I wasn't gonna give my baby's precious life away, me and this baby have grown a bond to each other just because he doesn't want my baby doesn't mean I don't. As I was standing in the mirror he was walking up the stairs. He completely ignored me and walked in the room. Every little thing he's been doing lately just makes my heart hurt. I don't know why it just does. I walked in the room and sat on the edge of the bed with just the towel wrapped around me. I was only there for about two minutes before he started kissing on my neck. Is he serious right now? I wanted so bad for him to get off of me but my body was telling me something else. I let him continue and he pick me up and inserted his wood inside of me and started pounding in and out of me. He knows like I know that rough sex is not good for the baby so why is he doing this? "Stop!", I yelled as I started hitting him in the face. He just wouldn't stop. I continued to hit him as hard as I could in his face. When he ejaculated he finally stopped and let me down and of course I was bleeding. I was hysterical and crying and he just didn't care. I threw on some clothes and rushed myself to the hospital. Luckily everything was ok with my baby the doctor just warned me about having rough sex. I got back home and of course he wasn't there. I was so sick of him not being here and leaving me at this house all day by myself. I got back in my car and headed to his office. He was going to face me tonight. I arrived, parked, and got out. I walked in the front door and made my way all the way to his office with no problem. I guess by the look on my face his boys knew not to fuck with me. I opened his office door only to see his assistant giving him head again. He's still cheating on me I know I said I didn't wanna be with him anymore but really red? I walked over to them and grab that bitch by her hair and yank her off of his dick. "Wtf!" She yelled getting up charging at me but he stop her. "Put her out, we need to talk", I spat. He did as told. "What the fuck you doing here?" He asked. "Why are you still cheating on me?" I asked. "You said you didn't wanna be with me" he said. "This is exactly why. You are a piece of shit" I spat. "You make me sick. I hate you. I hate that I ever even laid down with your stupid ass and got pregnant. You're a sorry piece of shit." I spat while hitting him in his back. He grabbed me hard by both of my arms and threw me on his leather couch. "I hate yo ass too", he yelled in my face. At this point I don't even know why I bother. I'm tired of being dragged and putting myself through heartache. If I didn't know before I know now that I am done with him. I didn't say a word I just sat there for about 5 more minutes before I decided on where I would be staying for the night. I thought about my daddy but I knew he would be tired of my same old sob story. So I called up an old friend from high school and she agreed to letting me stay with her until I got on my feet.