As had been the case in the last few weeks, after coming home from Hannah's dorm, I slept poorly that night. Justin was still playing a video game remotely with someone when I returned home. Pushing down his headset, he took in my stumbling, dejected appearance, and asked what happened. After answering him with a grunt and noncommittal response, I trudged up the stairs and threw myself – fully clothed – into bed.
Ian stirred and asked me a few questions, but I wasn't in the mood to talk. The only thing I was in the mood for was to escape my pounding mind, which was hammered relentlessly by the thoughts I tried to leave before entering the apartment. The act didn't work, and instead of slipping into a dreamless slumber for just a few hours to escape reality, the colors, emotions, and shapes of everything only meshed together to form something stronger.
I woke up a mess the following morning. Bright light poured in through the window and only agitated my pounding brain. The brief amount of sleep was a small reprieve, and when the memories flooded back, it was like I had to relive them over again. Digging my fingers into my temples, I stumbled towards the bathroom and took a long shower.
Justin and Dev must have left the second I came into the living room. Ian was gone when I woke up, but it was Thursday, and they each had early classes today. I should eat something – I hadn't had anything besides beer in my stomach since yesterday's lunch. The thought knotted my stomach and my appetite dissipated. I glanced at my watch. I was running late anyway and could grab a coffee on my way.
Grabbing my backpack, I slunk down the porch stairs – squinting in the bright sunshine – glanced down the sidewalk towards Elliot's apartment, and then walked in the opposite direction.
Campus was lively. Students swarmed around the main building, some in pockets and some zipping between them. I strained my eyes at the sound as it only increased my headache. Pushing my way towards the café, I stood in line and hoped a cup of coffee would ease whatever was happening in my head.
I shifted my head to the side to ease some of the tension and caught sight of a person I was almost certain I imagined. Blinking, I expected her image to disappear. It didn't. With her dark hair in curtains over her shoulder and deep eyes anchored on me, the expression filling her face pulled me straight out of line. Like a magnet, I moved towards her.
Still some feet away, Elliot stopped and watched as I moved towards her. What I would say when I approached, I didn't know, but at this moment, I had to reach her; however, the closer I drew, the more her features sharpened, and by the time I nearly reached her, I saw the look on her face was geared to cut. With a hard frown and determined eyes, Elliot tensed and turned, marching quickly in the opposite direction.
"Elliot, wait!" I called after her, desperate.
She did not turn around and continued storming down the hallway until she was out of sight.
I didn't follow.
xxx
I wasn't one to skip out on prior commitments, but I skipped the Chem Trails meeting that night. Still feeling like I had been submerged in a deep fryer, I decided to stay in tand explain that I was sick when I faced Ashford next week. Besides that, Hannah would be there, and I really didn't feel like facing her.
Because I couldn't stand the thought of sitting alone in my bedroom anymore, I strayed downstairs where Ian and Dev had classwork strewn across the dining table. Ian was attempting to explain some computer science concept to Dev, who was watching him with an extremely lined forehead.
I sat on the couch and mindlessly scrolled through my phone while listening as Ian's voice continued to confuse Dev. It wasn't much better than being in my bedroom, but at least the others were a bit of a distraction.
YOU ARE READING
Superposition (Starting Position Sequel)
RomanceNow together at university, Elliot and Ben have the freedom (and privacy) to focus on and enjoy their relationship. But with that newfound freedom comes expectations, and living up to those expectations is proving to be overwhelming for Ben. Elliot...