Chapter 88: Fifth Year: Stale Mate
Summary:
CW for drug use (weed).
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
So messed up, I want you here
In my room, I want you here
Now we're gonna be face-to-face
And I'll lay right down in my favourite place
And now I want to be your dog
Now I want to be your dog
Now I want to be your dog
Well, come on...
Tuesday 16th March 1976
By the time the next full moon arrived, it became clear that Remus and Sirius had reached a stalemate. Remus had tried being indirect - catching Sirius's eye during meals, or the rare evenings they were all together. He tried hanging back in the dorm room to see if Sirius would stay behind too. But no luck. Sirius's eyes never met his, and he was always the first to leave a room with Remus in it.
Short of actually ambushing Sirius somewhere (which he refused to do), Remus was running out of options. The plea for another phone call with Grant was returned, with a note in Matron's neat, brutally clear handwriting on the envelope. 'Recipient no longer known at this address'. He was completely alone.
Once, Remus thought he'd got close to catching Sirius. They were leaving Charms, and James had stopped back to talk to Professor Flitwick, and Peter had nipped to the loo, so Remus and Sirius found themselves waiting alone in a busy corridor. He seized the chance, saying quietly,
"Look, about the other night--"
"Yeah, we were all so pissed, right?!" Sirius laughed, loudly - loud enough for people to turn and look. "Mental. Can hardly remember half of it!"
"Er... yeah, right." Remus withdrew.
It was a complete lie, they both knew that. But it was one of those awful cases where neither of them were supposed to acknowledge the lie; just keep stepping over it. You couldn't push Sirius any further than he was willing to go. And he was clearly not willing to go... there.
Then, of course, there was Mary. If Sirius did want Remus in the same way Remus wanted Sirius, then surely the Mary thing would be over. But no, Remus was going to have to come to terms with the fact that it wasn't 'the Mary thing'; it was his best friend's relationship, and it wasn't going anywhere any time soon. She was everywhere he was, and more often than not on his lap.
During this time, Remus briefly flirted with the idea of leglimency. Being able to read Sirius's mind was very appealing. He soon gave up, finding it much more difficult than anything else he'd ever attempted. Plus, with his revision schedule now in full swing, he had very little room in his head for new spells.
Now, on the night of the full moon, Remus sat alone in the Shrieking Shack, waiting for his friends to arrive and not sure if they would be two or three. He was getting a bit paranoid, actually, but that wasn't Sirius's fault. In an attempt at escapism, Remus had been spending more and more time down at the greenhouses, spacing out and filling up with dozy green smoke. Not ideal. Better than drinking, he supposed. Better than getting detentions for stupid pranks.
He'd smoked that particular day to calm his nerves around the moon - and to see if it had any effect on the transformation pains. Though goodness only knew what a stoned werewolf would be like.
A sharp pain seared his shoulder blades, and he gasped with surprise. Well, that was that experiment done with.
"Evening Moony," the door opened and James poked his head around.
"It's starting," Remus clenched his jaw, "Hurry up, get in."
James quickly transformed, and was followed into the room by a large brown rat and a big black dog. Remus closed his eyes, relieved.
