Ashore

6: Preparation

The only time I get to relax is during breakfast.
My eyelids feel heavy, while I struggle to keep my eyes open and eat my breakfast- an omelette with fruit salad, and milk.
I hadn't slept the night before; Wilbur and Tommy stayed up all night educating me on this history of L'manberg. It made sense, though. What general didn't know the history of the nation they were fighting for?
I recall Wilbur's words from the previous night. I lied. This isn't really... Earth. Well, it is, but... I don't know. A different dimension. A different realm.
I didn't, and still don't know what he was talking about.
"Hey, I know you're tired but we've got to hurry. War preparation waits for no man." I sigh when Techno appears behind me and says.
"Well, shes not a guy-" Tommy starts to defend me.
"Shut up." Techno speaks in a normal volume, but his tone is enough to shatter plates. I swear my bones shivered.
"You're rude. Now I remember why I hate you." I can't tell if Tommy is joking.
It feels like I'm acting in a play when Wilbur enters the scene.
"Arguing again? I don't think time is progressing."
"HE was being annoying to Ast-"
"It's fine, Tommy." I murmur after sensing an argument rising. Then, I gulp down the rest of my food and leave it in the sink with a weird emotion left in me.
-
"Based on yesterday's performance, I'm assuming you are... Skilled enough at archery." Techno tells me but I shake my head.
"I can't bullseye moving targets. I can't shoot enemies if I can't do that." I tell him quietly. It still feels weird talking, but I have to. I once heard Ranboo say 'Communication is key in war'. That made sense, unfortunately.
"Barely anyone can bullseye moving targets. And you need to train in face to face combat."
"Fine, but at least let me practice for about half an hour." I reply hopefully. The stone on my shoulders is lifted when Techno nods.
I realise that archery is my peace of mind. Its like the wind doesn't feel so warm- and the space around me doesn't shrink anymore, as long as I grasp the bow and arrow. They offer me with bravery, and certainty.
The log with a target nailed into it taunts me by swinging from left to right in a repeated pattern. I can almost hear it laughing, taunting me. I'm pretty sure it makes people hallucinate.
I'm not giving in, though. If I was going to fight in this war- against Dream, an apparent God, and his nation- I needed to at least do something right.
Taking in a deep breath, I draw the arrow notch till its right in front of my eye, and aim. And observe. The log swings from side to side repeatedly, while I breathe to its rhythm.
Let it fly. I can't help but feel disappointed when the arrow doesn't hit bullseye. It is right beside it, though, but not good enough. I have to keep preparing, and training.
-
"Do I actually have to do this?" I whisper loud enough for Techno to hear, my vision blurring out with tears. I was supposed to be strong; I had promised myself- but surely getting defeated over and over again, pressured by the wait of war, was enough to make even a strong person cry?
"I know I'm being pretty harsh, trust me, I don't want to. But I have to. Focus on the thought that you night win me one day." Techno frowns and tries to encourage me. It doesn't work, but I wipe my eyes with my already soaking sleeve and ignore the quiver in my fingers when I grasp the sword in my hands.
Here we go again. The voices in my head echo when Techno dashes towards me. Thankfully, I manage to dodge his first swing of his sword. I spot a flash in the corner of my eyes and this time, I've learnt my lesson. Don't delay. React.
I raise my sword to block myself, but Techno's strength is overwhelming. My muscles strain to bear the weight and they eventually give way as I hop back quickly, and take the opportunity to knock his sword out of Techno's hands. It almost works, before he realises what I'm doing and pulls my sword away from me and shoves me to the ground. My head throbs. Not again.
"You did better this time." I spot my own sweaty, exhausted face in the reflection of Techno's shining weapon.
Tears well up in my eyes before I can stop them. My throat tightens. Not good. I bite my lip and stare at the floor. Go away. Stop. A bubble inside me expands, pushing my sanity out of my soul. Its just a panic attack, it's not real. I can't help it. My finger starts to tap rapidly on the ground beneath me, and my breathing quickens. I open my mouth to speak. I can't.
"You okay?" Techno's voice is distant, the panic is full force now- I can't see- tears burn my face like acid.
I think I manage to shake my head, because I see Techno abandoning me- and coming back with Ranboo. Relief floods me.
"Aster! Are you ok- you're not feeling okay right now, I know that, but it's going to be alright. Take your time. You're safe. Okay? Aster, you're safe."
I let his words flood my mind. Safe. Safe. Safe. I'm safe. The panic fades away slowly, and I'm left with weakness and disappointment in myself.
"Lets take a walk." Ranboo smiles at me and Techno nods.
When I leave my training area, I notice that the sun is already setting.
Then I notice everything else: it's... Magnificent.
Hundreds, maybe thousands, of men and a few women, scurry around the wide green pasture- tens of thousands of weapons laid out neatly in sections.
It's almost organised. One section is filled with various people sparring, some laughing, some serious. I even spot a boy, around eleven years old, fighting a grown man. I frown in spite of myself. Someone so young- so innocent, so... precious, sent away to war just like that.
I shift my cone of vision to the other sections- I spot the archery section almost immediately; it isn't where I trained though. There's even a weapon repair section, where most of the women stand, not taking a break as they work hard at sharpening the swords; running to find more string- crafting arrows. Again, young and old take part in the crafting.
"Ready to go?" my head snaps to the side- I forgot about going on a walk with Ranboo.
"They need some food." I mutter, and Ranboo sighs.
"I know. I've tried telling Will before, trust me- but we don't have many resources, and way too many people."
"What about the young kids? That girl is around nine years old! Surely we can help her." I raise my volume, angry at the suffering the people are going through. Angry at myself for wanting to give up, just because of bullying and abuse from my father.
"I guess you can give them some water. They... Haven't ate. All day."
I don't wait for a reply.
In a minute, I return from the castle with a cart of ice cold milk.
"Drink this, you need it." I hand a small bottle of milk to the boy, when he finishes the fight with the grown man. He won.
"Thanks!" He beams at me and gulps down the milk in a few seconds flat. I notice his hair; it's really dark ash grey, sprinkled with  blond highlights. Even his eyes- they are basically red, close to brown.
"My name's Shroud! Thanks for the milk! I've been starving all day. Usually Tom would come to give me some food, but I think he's busy today."
I raise my eyebrows.
"Tom?"
"Yeah, Tom! Tommy, you know, the Prince? You're a general right? Its so awesome to meet you! You're a great general! Please tell me you'll give my friend Michael some milk. They have been working all day."
"They?"
"Oh. Yeah. They're half pig, and they don't know if they want to be a guy or girl. I don't really get it, but Michael wants to be referred to as 'they' and not 'she' or 'he'."
I nod. I decide I kind of like Shroud. He's Tommy's favourite kid, I'm assuming?
With a quick wave, I make my way to the girl I saw earlier- but as I go closer, I notice that... They? Have slightly pig-like facial features.
"Hi. Are you Michael?"
They nod.
"Um, drink this. You need it."
Without any words, they sip the milk in content and nods quickly at me.
"No problem. Shroud introduced me to you. I won't bother you now. Stay safe Michael."
I'm surprised when they smile. A genuine, soft, smile. I decide that Michael is my favourite kid. Silent, as other people would call it. I call it saying only what's necessary.
For the next ten minutes, I hand out bottles of milk to those who seem young, especially teens, for them to regain energy.
They need it.
-
The air of autumn fogs the air, taking orange leaves on a journey. Shakily standing on the podium, I admire the vast amount of people gathering around below us.
"Hello, citizens of L'manberg. Recently, as you know, we have been preparing for the war against the dreadful Dream SMP. I've heard from a general-" Wilbur flicks his eyes to me, "- that you all have been very tired."
"So, we have decided to assign 'Food monitors', who will be serving small refreshments such as milk, iced water, and either sweet potatoes or  bread." Tommy follows up on Wilbur's words.
Tubbo continues.
"We have already created the bread and sweet potato farm, and have drastically increased our breeding rates for cows. We hope that these small changes will allow you to have more energy when preparing and training, so that you can perform better. Therefore, we expect better results of your training."
I observe the blurred faces of the audience. They're all smiling, some cheering, even. A loud bell noise thumps against my eardrums and I wince. When I open my eyes, the people are already packing up their items and heading home.
"Okay, let's go." Techno says. The whole atmosphere is... Worried. Everyone seems scared; afraid of something. Dreading the arrival of something.
"It's going to be okay." I whisper, and I spot a smile on Tubbo and Techno's face.
They're the only ones who aren't scared.
-
The freezing breeze of the night, dark and true. My eyes flutter open and I feel light, almost like air. Like I could evaporate and float along the stars, with the breeze.
The light strumming of a guitar.
Suddenly, I'm wide awake. There's no way I could go back to sleep.
Slowly, I stand up and shuffle towards... Where my legs lead me. Where my soul directs me.
The first thing I see is Wilbur, then Tommy.
The glint of moonlight on Tommy's cheek.
He's crying.
"What if one of us dies?"
"Tommy, we are strong, we won't-"
"You know Dream is stronger. Sapnap, even. George could win me if he tried."
Wilbur silhouette strums the guitar faintly, sighing.
Then he breaks down too.
He stars out to the night sky; the shape of his nose disappears as he turns his head. His whole body shakes, but his strumming- the tune of the song- is consistent and certain.
It's the L'manberg anthem. The one they told me about. The one that sounds like 'Hallelujah'.
"It's going to be okay, Tommy. I promise."
"I can't lose Techno-, no matter how much I hate him sometimes. I can't lose Ranboo, I can't lose Tubbo- I can't lose Aster either, they're my best friends. And there's no way I could ever lose you, Wilby."
"I can't lose you either, Tommy. Never. I love you, you know that right?"
Tommy shifts closer to Wilbur and burrows his head into Wilbur's shoulders, shaking.
"I know."
"So you'll- no, we- we will win the war, right? We will fight the best we ever have?" Wilbur smiles and pats Tommy's head, eyes soft.
"I promise to try." he replies with a shaky but strong voice.
As I stand silently, lost in their conversation, I realise: War preparation isn't all about the training, the preparing of weapons.
It's about the trying.
---

AAAAAAAAA I LOVE THE BROTHERS. don't mind if I constantly put in cringe touching brother moments throughout this story- I just love the crimeboys-