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Walking up and down my bed room, I debated on taking my phone up and calling him, after thatfashion show. I realized that I have just been fooling myself of my desires.
I used work as an excuse to not get attached because I was afraid of him being taken away just like Ryan was.
I knew I couldn't face him and tell him that in the car -back to my house- so why not on the phone?
I cringe at myself just imagining how that would have been, Me confessing to him as he looks at me in the rearview mirror with an amusement glaze as I start making a fool of myself of being flushed.
My arms fold over my chest while pacing my bedroom over and over.
Should I?
Am I ready for this? Maybe not.
Shut up, Veronica.
Yes, No. Maybe...
It is like debating about having pineapple on pizza. It is disgusting, but Bree loves it.
One year after Ryan's passing everything just crumbled, my friendship with some broke off, my ex-boyfriend cheated on me, because I couldn't bring myself to be my live self anymore. I was just blank, a blank seventeen year old girl who lost her brother.
I can't even remember if I said 'I love you' in a romantic way to anyone. I sigh under my breath and stop in my tracks. Balling my fist, I press my lips together.
Ah fuck it, I can punch myself in the face, later.
Walking to my bed, I take my phone and unlock it. My heart jumps when I click into his profile. He is online. I simply typed hey, but deleted it.
What do I say, maybe something like 'Hey Grey are you up for a hang out at TGI Weeknd?' I shake my head and cringe. I have forgotten how to do this type of thing. Erasing the text I go to type another-
My heart jumps again, but this time with horror. My skin crawls and I gulp.
My front door opens and slams shut, My eyebrows arch together. Bree didn't say she was dropping in for an after party or anything, nor did Stacy or Amanda.
"Bree!?" I called out. I hear nothing. "Bree, If it's you...I swear to God I'll rip your head off. Stop this foolish game!" I shout again Bree was always the one for pranks or stupid hide and seek games so I won't dout its her playing a silly game with me, turning off the device, I throw it towards the bed.
I breathe in and out. Just calm down, maybe it is Stacy and Hudson, her husband dropping in to congratulate me for my first runway in a while. I am sure they had probably forgotten to call or something. "Stacy?!" I called again. I hear something close and shut, another thing opens and shuts. "Amanda?! Bree?!" Stepping out of my room and walking towards the staircase. A scream echoes from my lips.
