Letters To God

Recap 00

Life is something more than an illusion, but for some reason i never understood who i was supposed to be in life(i still don't). Seemingly, no one is exactly like me, and i know God made me that way. But sometimes i can't help but wonder why i'm me, why can't  just be someone else? someone...better. Someone respectable...likeable? But either way, of course i feel selfish for how i complain about my life when so many others face worse. Though facing my own problems isn't any easier, especially when i'm the main part of the problem. It's probably just me, but now i realize that i'm not as good of a person i thought i was, i really could be doing better.

I guess this breakthrough all started a little ways back with my best friend(or former friend, whatever honks your horn). And from the beginning, my mom told me things would be fine, and that God would somehow turn this for good. Turns out she was right (suprisingly?) and I probably wouldn't be writing this if this had never happened, But in a strange way, im glad it did. Now before I start this whole recap of the past, I have to honestly say that I thought us two(me and my ex-friend)would have somehow made it through this in the end(Because our bond was so unbreakable). But it didn't turn out that way. And even if she does hate me, even if she never smiles at me again. I pray she's happy, and I'm happy for her.

But I simply believe she was misinformed. But i'll never know, and now for some reason, i've finally learned to accept that. God put her in my life as a Guide, that helped me(and saved my life) from falling apart. And our bond(literally) only lasted about year. But she's her own person, and I've finally learned to come to terms with her choices. I never knew her side of the story, and I probably never will.

But I'm okay with that.

And now I feel that this is my chance to tell my story, even if she never reads this, this is evidence, evidence that states I always cared, and always will. But while this was happening, I rapidly found myself questioning God himself, why would he do this to me and her? But it's taken me this long to see why he did things, and what good things came to be because of it. An in the following pages of "Letters to God", I hope you can come to terms with your own problems, and let them change you the way they did me.