Talking to Tom

33

This week has gone by so slow. So boringly. So..so annoyingly. I don't think I have ever wanted to sleep so badly until now. Sleep, sleep, what's sleep?

Is that the thing Tom have been getting a lot of? Must be, he doesn't look like a raccoon to me.

Caroline is super sweet during the day, she doesn't eat to much or cry a lot. At night she only wants me to hold her. The entire night I have to be in the chair in her room or living room, I can't fall asleep incase I drop her. So the entire night I hold her.

I'm being the responsible one and not trying to put her in bed with us because I know the risks. I don't think Tom really knows that I'm not sleeping at all. He notices that I'm always 'up' before him, we'll because I never went down.

I can sneak in a nap when shes napping.

That's only like 3-4 hours.

I'm starting to loose my mind. Actually. I wouldn't be as mad if Tom would see and try to help or relax me. He thinks that cause Caroline likes me more he can't hold her ever.

It's honestly getting pretty fucking annoying. She's our daughter, he wanted her more than I did, when she first came out they were inseparable! How did so much change in a week.

"Tom you need to put her down, I need a shower"

"All she does is cry when I do it,"

"Yes I know Tom! Babies cry get over it, I smell like a garbage can and you are worrying about your own daughter crying! It's how they communicate with us, maybe you smell bad to her? Ever thought of that?!"

He stares at me. No blinking or movement. Just a stare.

"Now I'm going to take a shower. And I will not be putting her down for a nap today."

I grab my phone from the coffee table and walk away. I'm so fed up, I've gotten to the point I haven't been for years.

angry.

I haven't had such a big disagreement with Tom since Christmas, but that wasn't really with Tom. We have small fights but it's about basic stuff, nothing like this.

This is gonna be the longest shower I have ever taken, I'll have my music on, warm warm water, peace. Quietness and peace.