cigarettes and stars

remembering last night

WARNING: This chapter includes mentions of self harm and depression.

Knowing Aria did the same things I did hurt me so much. Seeing the scars on her body, tracing my fingers on them. That night i cried like I've never cried before. I never cried in front of someone but I felt so safe with her. In her arms, both of us crying. She said we'll go through it together and we will. I just know it.

Seeing those scars on Ivy's body made my heart drop. I never thought she would hurt herself like I did. Seeing them and feeling them gave me goosebumps. I've never seen her cry before this was the first time I did. I never told anyone about how I hurt myself, But i know i can trust her. With her in my arms sobbing it felt comforting. I said that we'll go through this together and we will.

It was around 6:00am when I woke up. My head was on her chest and her arms were wrapped around my waist. I felt so comfortable. I wish we could stay like this forever. I decided not to get up and stay like that with her. I could feel her hot breathing down my neck which gave me butterflies. I felt her move around and press up against me which sent shivers through my body but I liked it. We've never been this close since we were kids. I could feel her thighs against mine. Then when i feel her moving slightly. "I can feel you staring at me." She said before opening her eyes and a smirk appears on her face. "Oh shut up." I said while rolling my eyes. We stayed silent for a little while still in the same position. School started at eight we still had time to cuddle a bit. "Should we get up?" She asked with slight hesitation. "Noo i'm comfy." I said while burying my head in her armpit. "Okayy you big doofus." She said while laughing. We stayed like that for i would say twenty minutes.

Me and Ivy stayed like that for like twenty minutes. Honestly I would want to stay like this forever. She looks so cute. With her head on my chest, us cuddling and feeling warmth. It was silent but not a awkward silence more of a comforting one. I could feel her hot breathing on me. After about five more minutes of that my alarm went off. I got up to turn it off and Ivy groaned. "Comfy ughh." She said. "We have to get up dummy." I said to her while giggling at the sleepy brunette. I got up and stretched a bit. "How about you take a shower first then I can." She said while still laying down. "Fine but when i'm done you get your ass in there." I said while grabbing my phone and towel. "Mk." She said while putting the blanket over her. I smile at her before getting in. As i got in i took a look at my phone. I checked my instagram post that i posted of me and Ivy and all the comments were asking if we were dating and complimenting us. I decide to just ignore them. I clicked on Ivy's profile and saw she reposted our photos on her account and story, the comments were the exact same but she also ignored them. I sighed as i closed my phone and put it face down on the counter. I got in the shower, still feeling the cold water on my scars.

Honestly i haven't really gotten any texts from my mom. I explained to her that Aria is our neighbor and we like to sleepover but she doesn't give a fuck. That's supposed to be good but it makes me feel sad knowing she doesn't care. But i guess it's alright. And Ivy's parents aren't ever around. She told me that they are always on business trips and didn't care for her, and her sister Luna is off to college. I did know Luna she's about two years older than us. A few seconds passed and i see Aria come out wearing a towel sending shivers thru my whole body. "You can go now dork." She said while laughing. I rolled my eyes as i grabbed my towel and got in. Yeah i literally have my own towel since i practically live here. I mean sometimes Aria also comes over, i guess we both feel so lonely so we always sleep over. As i got in i start to think more about the party, last night i was too drunk to remember but now some memories are playing back. This weird Dara chick flirting with me and being weird, Aria coming and telling her to get off of me and wait- She said that she's my girlfriend. She was just doing it to get me away from her but i don't know it sounds so right. I brush it off as i finished my shower. Wrapped around in my towel i get out of the door. I see Aria already dressed up in a white mini skirt, white corset with a green shirt under it. She always loved dressing like a fairy which is so cute. "Can you pass me my clothes?" I ask her while pointing towards the pile of clothes that were laid down. She nods as she goes up to get them and then giving me them. But while she was giving me them i could see her eyes look else where. She was basically checking me out. A blush creeps up on my face but i brushed it off as i took my clothes and went in the bathroom again to change. I decide to actually dress good for once because i normally look like a fucking gay drug dealer. I decide to match her a bit and wore a black mini skirt, black corset with a white shirt underneath. I came out and did jazz hands. "Awh!! We are matching!" She screamed while jumping up and down. I rolled my eyes and smiled as i sat to do some makeup. I decided to go with some eyeliner, black eyeshadow, mascara and some highlighter. It took fifteen minutes but it looked pretty cool so i was happy. I was all ready and looked over to Aria who was finishing up her mascara. "You ready to go loser?" I asked her. She got off from where she was sitting, grabs some earphones and her bag and goes downstairs with me. It was around 7:25am when we left the house on my motorcycle. In about five minutes we made it and got off.

I could see Finn and Willow from a mile away. It became a habit to hold Ivy's hand. We held hands as we walked over to the two. "Oh hey guys." Finn said. "Hey." I said back while waving. "So how'd it go with your man?" Ivy asked Finn with a smirk on her face. "He asked me out and we are going on a date this sunday!" He said very excitingly. I smile at the excited brunette as i looked back at Willow. "Are you guys living together or something?" She asked with a raised brow. Me and Ivy gave each other awkward glances. "It's complicated, like we are neighbors but like one night we sleep at her house and the next at mine and like yeah." I tried explaining. "Hm okay." Willow said with a little smile. Before i could ask her about that smile she changed the subject back to the party, talking about how fun it was. "Why did you guys go early again?" Finn asked us. "Oh well uhm there was this weird creepy bitch that kept hitting on me and i was drunk so Aria took me home." Ivy explained. "Oh i'm sorry." Willow said with a nervous look. "Nah it's fine." She said while rubbing her arm. And with that the bell rung. We all had separate classes except me and Finn who had science together and Ivy and Willow who both had math.

Time skip :)

The school day went fine, me and Willow had a lot of classes together which was good since sometimes i don't have classes with my friends. When we all met up during lunch we thought it would be cool if Finn and Willow came over for a sleepover. Me and Aria thought it would be a fun idea to do since we haven't done one in a while. As school ended me and Aria walked out and the other two said that they would meet up with us at Aria's house. We agreed as we went home.