Lament to Eurydice

XXII. HEARTACHE

Hello! This is the first draft of chapter twenty-two of my upcoming debut novel, Lament to Eurydice. It'll be a  full-length novel on the Greek myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. It's told from the perspective of both Orpheus and Eurydice, as I feel it's important giving Eurydice a voice, too (since all of the books I've read on this myth are only following Orpheus). This chapter is written from the perspective of Eurydice. 

For context, a short summary of the plot up to this point: Orpheus is a musician who is so good his music can enchant/manipulate people. He is famous over the entire Ancient Greek World. Eurydice is a musician in exile, a member of the Cult of Wine God Dionysus. They meet each other, fall in love, get married, but soon, Eurydice tragically dies by a snake attack. Orpheus, overcome with grief, travels into the Underworld to face the Gods with his music and take back Eurydice to the World of the Living. He succeeds, and is allowed to take Eurydice back up to the surface, but under one strict condition: Eurydice walks behind Orpheus, following him back up to the surface. He can not look back at her until they have reached the surface.  This chapter is about the walk back to the surface, told by Eurydice. 

I'm in huge need for some feedback on this, since it's basically the most important chapter of the book. So, any feedback is immensely appreciated. Thank you <3

-✣- XXI. HEARTACHE -✣-

Eurydice

And so, I found myself trailing behind him, walking up all the way back to the surface. I hold his hand, though I can't feel it. I'm not sure if he can feel my hand, either. It doesn't matter. We're getting out of here. We're going back to the surface. We leave the obsidian halls of the House of Hades. I keep staring at the back of his head, his obsidian, curling hair. The golden, gemstone-adorned lyre he wears on his back. We wander through the lavender-colored gardens of Persephone, filled with the flowers she patrons. I think about how I'll miss the Flower Goddess, the Gorgon-slayer, the Constellation Queen. Sweet Andromeda. I couldn't even say goodbye.

***

We were out of the halls of Erebus now, Cerberus was there, looming over us, but safely let Orpheus and me pass. I'd have to ask him how he got past the Hounds some other time, when we were safely on the surface, basking in the Sun and singing to the kind King and Queen of the Dead. We reached the river Styx. The Boatman was already there, waiting for us, I supposed. 'Tralala. You are especially lucky to be favoured by the Queen.', Charon hummed at me, though Orpheus replied as if it were directed at him. 'The blessing of the Queen is a great gift, indeed.' It was silent between the three of us as the Boatman rowed us across the wretched torrents. It was written in his eyes, back then. 'Hum, hum. Don't look back.' And he set us off on the opposite side. I noticed how the banks of Styx were empty, devoid of the hundreds of souls that had been waiting when Lord Hermes had brought me here. I did not question it. We were heading back through the long, winding cave to the surface now. With Hermes, this trip took only mere moments. He crossed oceans as fast as I could blink. I knew that without Hermes, this climb would take a long time.

He spoke then. His voice, I would know it anywhere, anytime, at the end of time. 'It pains me I can not see you,' he said, shakily. His voice was raw. I thought back. 'You're beautiful,' he had told me again and again and again. I believed him. I was beautiful. Now? I was a shade. I was nothing. I was dead. I thought about the Upper World, as the inhabitants of the Underworld have come to call it. I thought about dancing around the Sun with him, growing old in the eternal fields of the Living. 'Eurydice, please be true,' he said. Was I true? Not yet. As we climbed closer and closer to the surface, the walls and ceiling closed in on us. The path got too narrow for two people to walk side by side and the ceiling was only a jump away. I kept looking at the ceiling to make sure it didn't crash down at us. It was a good sign, though. Because I knew, as the cave crept closer, the surface drew nearer.

The cave was at its narrowest, the rays of the Sun almost breaking through. We were getting closer and closer to the Land the Light of Helios touched again, further away from the labyrinth palace of Persephone. My steps mirrored his. I could hear his inconsistent, anxious breathing. As we get closer to the surface, I feel myself get more alive with every step - slowly turning back into a mortal again. More mortal, more vulnerable, more solid. My limbs feel heavier. I can breathe again, and I do so. I can feel my heart pump again. I can feel the rock beneath my feet again, I can feel the softness of his hand around mine. 'Eurydice... I can feel you now,' he said. 'Hello, Orpheus,' I mumbled through numb lips. I had not used my voice in a long time. It sounded unfamiliar, as if it wasn't even my voice. The numbness was gone. As the surface gets closer, I'm starting to feel an aching pain in my heel. It's the snake bite. I am cruelly reminded of the past. But what does it matter, with a new future before me? My skin was bursting with color again. And there it was. The opening of the cave. The grassy fields, dotted with trees. The gleaming golden light of the late-afternoon Sun touched my skin and buried the Sky in a liquid golden blanket. The orange flame of the Sun would sink beneath the Earth soon enough. That did not matter. I could feel its warmth again. Orpheus' hand gripped mine tighter in anxiety. And then Orpheus stopped in his tracks.

I stopped walking, too. He breathed in a small amount of air and then exhaled long and slow. His right feet twitched. No., I thought. No. Not now. I breathed in a bit of air too. It tasted like lightning, heavy on my tongue. I tasted a bit of blood at the back of my throat I had not noticed before. His left foot twitched now, too. He was shaking. 'We're here..,' he whispered. How softly he whispered, yet his words rang loudly in my ears. Tears blurred my vision, a sharp pain burned in my throat. A thousand sentiments boiled in my chest. 'No. You are here.' The light of the Sun seeped softly through his dark curls. He turned around, anyway. With just one glance, one single stare, Orpheus shattered everything. His eyes lock with mine for a brief moment. A final haunting glare. The first time I had looked into his eyes, it emitted the same golden radiance as it did now. As it always did. He may have changed, but his eyes never did. The aureate flames would remain, always, in every lifetime.

In my throat, I felt the eternal gilding of the Fates' loom. I gulp my last breath and feel the last rays of the Sun on my skin. His glance was enough to give my heart one last beat, and then I feel it shutting off forever. I died again. He reached for me, but his hands parted through my shade as if it was smoke.

I must have blacked out.

***