Might be a hoe

27

Safiyya

"Is there something you want to tell me" Jeremiah said looking at me seriously.

"No what do you mean" I said playing with my nails anxiously wondering what he was going to say and what he knew.

"I'm not stupid Fiyya" he said with a sigh. "You've been distant lately and I noticed the connection between you and Adrian tonight" he said.

"I don't know why your talking about"

"When are you going to grow up and face your problems Safiyya, I knew that it wasn't gonna be easy being with you but I really thought you changed" he said looking hurt.

"Okay I'm sorry, we slept together a couple times it i really didn't mean to and I didn't want to hurt you" I said looking up at him and seeing how crushed he look which made me feel worse.

"How long?" He said lowly.

"How long what"

"How long have you been lying to me"

"Coming up 3 months" I said shamefully.

"Wow" he said and then there was a long silence.

"I'm so sorry Jeremiah, I really am, please I don't be mad I love you" I said and my eyes started to water.

"I can't believe you would say that to me after all this. You don't love me Safiyya, and I'm still trying to figure out if you love anyone but yourself" he said. "The part that hurts the most is I actually love you and I thought you felt the same way but you clearly don't. I hope you really find yourself Safiyya and I wish you the best" he added looking out his side of the window.

Tears was fully coming down my face now and I felt a pain in my chest. I wanted to say more but I didn't know what to say. All I could do was open the door and come out his car.

I walked over to Jayla's car and she looked at me confused when she saw me crying.

"Oh my gosh what happened why are you crying" she said looking at me concerned.

"Can you just drive please we can talk about it later" I said and she nodded.

When we got home I washed my face and changed out of my clothes. I got in my bed and got under the covers and Jayla came in and cuddled with me.

"You wanna talk about it now" she said as I rested my head on her shoulder.

"Me and Remi broke up, he suspected something was going on so I told him that me and Adrian have been messing with each other"

"Hold on, been messing with each other?" She said sitting up.

"Yeah I'm sorry I didn't tell you but we have been fucking with each other since he put to Ziyya's bed"

"I can't believe you Safiyya" she said shaking her head and sighing.

"Yes I know, I need to make up my mind about what I want and all that"

"No that's not it this time, I disappointed because you are hurting people that don't deserve to be hurt. You wanna find yourself, find yourself but don't drag other people in it" she said.

"I thought you learned your lesson from your one 'slip up' but apparently you haven't. I don't know what else to say to you or when your gonna realise that it ain't a game no more, your grown and I know you been hurt but that's not an excuse anymore. I can't support you whilst your out here hurting and using people" she added and walked out my room.

My chest felt even heavier and I cried heavily. I knew all the things they said were right and I haven't felt worse about myself.

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I haven't spoken to Jayla since yesterday so I came to Mak's house. He was the only person I had left to talk to and if he gives up on my as well I might give up on myself as well. I told him everything and he gave me some advice and I spent the rest of the time chilling with my nephew.

"So you thought about what your gonna do next"Mak asked me a couple hours later.

"I'm just gonna chill and focus on me" I replied.

"I'm not telling you to rush into anything but we both know your idea of focusing on yourself is talking to different niggas you have no business talking to. So what I'm saying is if you know what you want go and get it, if it works it works if I doesn't at least you know but life is too short not to take risks"

"Your right Mak, thank you" I said and hugged him,he kissed me on the forehead like he used to do when I was younger.

"I really appreciate you Mak, your my mother, father, friend and brother all in one and I want to see you happy as well" I said.

"Don't worry bout me Fiyya when the time comes it will come and I got my son by me" he said and I smiled.

After that I left and got into my car. I started driving and I somehow ended up outside Adrian's house. I walked up and rang the doorbell. I was really taking a risk because I didn't know if Armani was going to be there or not or even if he still wanted me but as my brother said I had to take risks.

After a few seconds Adrian answered the door and looked kind of shocked to see me.

"What's up" he said.

"Can I come in" I asked and he nodded and opened the door more for me.

"Me and Remi broke up" I said before we could even walk to the living room.

"I'm sorry" he replied but he didn't look like he meant it.

"It's because of you, he caught on at your party, but he was right I do love you and I want to be with you"

"For real?" He asked.

"Yeah, if you still want me I'm down to try it again" I replied.

"Of course I'm down" he said and a big smile appeared on his face. He pulled me into him and gave me the biggest hug. "I promise it's gonna be better this time, I ain't letting you go" he said and then kissed me.

———————

I went home to meant one more relationship so I could get my life back. I went to the kitchen where Jayla was making a smoothie.

"Hey" I said

"Hi"

"I'm sorry Jayla you were right and I'm sorry I lied to you I should've listened but I really hate when your mad at me" I said.

"Nah I'm sorry, I've been lying to you to. There's something I have to tell you" she said and I paused.

"What" I said confused.

"Well me and Mak have been fucking with each other since the day I went to comfort him.

To be continued...