Loving the High School Bad-Boy

Chapter 18

Jacksons POV:
Here I was.

Laying in her bed.

Thinking of her.

Missing her.

I've never missed a girl before.

And it sucks.

I wish I could take it back.

I didn't mean it.

Pushing her out on the corner.

She hurt me.

But I hurt her more.

And I feel like shit all the time.

Lilly came by.

I slammed the door in her face.

She came by again.

I told her I didn't want to see her.

I wanted to see her.

She was the only one I wanted.

I just want to see her.

But know she's in a coma.

And no one, not even me can.

They try to get me to eat.

But I don't want to.

She's not eating.

So I shouldn't either.

She's just laying there, lifeless.

So I should too.

And I do.

And it makes them mad.

That I'm taking it so hard.

Even though I didn't really know her

I think I was falling for her.

Hard.

Hard as hell.

But she couldn't know that.

She must hate me.

She will hate me.

She will always hate me.

For I did this to her.

And when she wakes up.

She will never want to see me again

Buts that's alright.

I'll see her sometimes.

I'll see her happy.

I'll see her enjoying life.

Without me.

Because, life with me.

Made her life bad.

And know I lay here.

And think.

Maybe she won't hate me.

Maybe she'll accept my sorry's.

Maybe she'll feel this way too.

Maybe she's falling.

Maybe she already fell.

But then I think.

She won't.

It's all my fault.

So I won't let her suffer.

Not without me.

I will suffer.

If she suffers.

All that i want.

Is to see her.

Alive and well.

I want to see her happy.

I want to see her having fun.

I want to see her face light up.

I want to hear her laugh.

I want to see her smile.

I want to see her blush.

I want to see her eyes.

Bright.

Happy.

Caring.

Loving.

Alive.

I just want her.