"When am I going to see you?" I started growing frustrated by the second. He was really testing my nerves.
"I don't know Nia."
I was silent, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to say next.
"I don't have an answer for you. You want me to lie to you?" His thick New Orleans accent lingered in my ears.
"No, I don't." I replied with a monotone. I've been talking to this man through FaceTime for the last few months and I never met him. Ever since we met each other on social media we've clicked. We can talk about anything and everything! Yeah, I know it's ridiculous to catch feelings for a man through a phone that lives miles away. It's not impossible though, believe me!
We were both silent. I didn't really have much to say but that didn't mean I was going to hang up. The little amount of presence I was able to receive through this phone was enough for me to just sit here in silence. I wanted to be close to this man in real life but I don't know if he feels the same. It can't just be me feeling this way! After all these months of getting to know each other without touch, I'm the only one that has these feelings? If that's the case he played the hell out of me! I can't stand when people use you when it's convenient for them. If you have no intentions on progressing the relationship you shouldn't have allowed yourself to get close to me like that.
"Damn, you can't even ask how my day went? Got damn!" He said while looking at me then back at the road. He had his phone propped up so he can talk to me with ease.
"How was your day today?" I asked. Of course I cared how his day went but I really wanted to know when I'll see him in the flesh! Talking everyday and going to sleep together over the phone wasn't doing justice for me anymore, I was growing impatient. I want to touch you Darius, fall in love with you, be up under you!
"Nah, don't try to ask na'!"
"My bad, How was your day?" I asked again.
"That's not how we apologize." He looked at me then back at the road.
"I am so sorry I would like to apologize for not asking how your day went." A while back we had a disagreement on how to apologize. I was taught to say "I apologize" rather than I'm sorry but he thought using "I apologize" wasn't sincere enough. So, he decided we'll apologize in that format every time so we both know we were being sincere.
"It was good. I'm on my way to Philly right na'."
"Oh yea? How's the drive?" I asked, attitude still laced in my voice.
"Not bad. I can't complain."
"Mhm."
"Say... what's wrong with you?" Darius asked.
"Nothing."
"Nia."
"I just want to see you already Darius, that's it." I pouted my lip a little.
"But I can see we're only going to be FaceTime buddies." I continued.
"How you know that?"
I was quiet.
"Exactly, you don't."
"We'll you don't give much to go off on. I honestly feel like you only fuck with me when you want too." I said honestly, usually we would talk everyday but now we barely speak and I can't stand it! I want to talk to this man any chance I get. Like did you eat today love? Did you have a good night sleep? The amount of feelings I have for this man is insane.
"Holl' on , Holl' on. Ima' call you right back." Darius said while he ended our FaceTime call which pissed me off instantly. Anytime I bring up serious conversations he doesn't know how to respond. You're a grown ass man, talk to me!
About thirty minutes later, Darius called me back.
"As you should!" I thought to myself.
"Hello?" I greeted him once his handsome face appeared on my phone.
"What you got going on?" He asked as if I just wasn't on the phone with him thirty minutes ago.
"I just got out the shower. I see you made it to your destination." I said since he was walking around in his truck.
"Yea'. I gotta' wait for this load. Do you want to watch a movie?"
"Sure. What do you want to watch?" I asked while I went to go look for my red laptop. This is how we bonded over the phone, we've had several movie nights. The first movie night we've ever had he fell asleep on me. I was so mad that he left me hanging like that.
"Love jones? They just dropped it on Netflix."
"Oh yea. I seen that." I responded.
"That's my favorite movie." He said while his attention was on his tv screen.
"I know." I said because he's told me this before.
"You ready?" He asked looking over at me once he had the movie paused so we can both start it at the same time.
"Yea' I'm ready."
"Ok.. 1..2..3." Darius counted off and we both pressed play once he reached three.
"Look, is it the same?" I asked turning my camera around so he can see my laptop. He looked back and fourth from his phone then to his tv to make sure the movie played at the same time on both ends.
"We good." He said while he got comfortable on his bed. Since the movie started playing he's been mimicking every line.
"Yes Darius, we know this is your favorite movie." I said because he's been talking through this bitch ever since it started.
"Huh?" He asked looking over at me.
"Never mind."
He sucked his teeth. "See here you go."
He hated when I did that.
Once the movie was finished, we put on Tarzan and he fell asleep first. His loud snores came through the phone while I sat in my bed pondering on the fact that I like him. Ever since we started talking it's been nothing but good vibes. Since he's from the south, everything about him was different. The way he spoke and the way he carried himself was different. I've never clicked with someone this much ever. It seems like we were made to be in each others lives. The only thing holding us back is the distance between us. Don't get me started on how fine this man is, he had long dreads, beautiful chocolate skin, and a smile that would brighten up my whole day. Even on my worse days he's still able to put me in my place. I love when a man is able to take control. Makes me want to fuck him! When I see this man in real life, I'm jumping on him.
Darius needs to make his way to California. I want to see if we can connect like this in real life. I can only imagine how we would interact when there is physical touch involved.
Oh man, what have I've got myself into?
