Red Rivers and Nightmares

16. Under a Willow Tree

Iien drops whatever conversation he was having with Eardwulf then and strides away. I wonder, again, where he could be taking us when pounding footsteps distracts my wandering mind. Rion has caught up to us. As I look at him I can see the water soaking his clothes.

Iien speaks as stiffly as I feel him moving, "Eardwulf says Fairley will have clothes for us when we reach their home."

For whatever reason Rion decides to not speak. I barely catch him nodding. Now knowing where we are going I just lean my head against my brother's chest and let myself drift off.

It feels much longer than the short minutes it actually was. I only wake because Iien is trying to set me down on a chair. At first, I stare at Iien blankly. It does not take me long, even for my exhausted mind, to register the fact that my brother is stressed. Very stressed.

"Will you need help changing your clothes, Shizu?," with his voice as tensed from worry as it is I manage to pull myself together a little more.

"No...," I trail off as I begin to think about actually getting myself undressed, dried off, and dressed again in new clothes.

Iien frowns heavily, "Can you...," he stops, as if what he wants to ask is so outrageous that he cannot possibly voice it. But then, he continues, "Can you take the water from yourself and your clothing?"

I close my eyes then and fall into the breathing to meditate. Like this I can feel my magic flowing under my skin. It feels slow and lethargic and in some areas it feels like there are gaps from it stretching too thin. But, in this state I feel clearer than I had before. Like this I can think about why I felt empty and about why doing this caused such issues with my magic. I can only hope that it is cause the magic pulled from me was more than my body was prepared to give and not that the circle was not done in the way it should have been. I know that if it is the latter that it will cause problems for me down the road. There is a reason that after Mages were born people stopped learning the practices of magic, it is simply safer for everyone if the other magics stay within mages.

When I open my eyes I feel lethargic once more but Iien is still there, still waiting for me. I shake my head slowly, "I do not have it in me to do so."

Iien's face goes carefully blank and he nods slowly, "Very well. I will ask Fairley if there is any available to help. Will you take Eardwulf's blood?"

As my tired eyes watch my brother I can see how much he wants me to. I have a thought that he is depending on the blood to make me better again. Fortunately for us all, I took in more aspects of being raised in our family than Mother wanted me to. I manage a tired smile, "Yes."

Iien nods. It looks like he is going to leave without saying anything but he suddenly turns back from the door and gives me a tight hug. I have no idea what to do at first. A very small part of me wants to tell him that I am fine but I find myself needing his comfort the longer his arms stay around me. I hug him back as tightly as I can manage and rub my face against his chest, like I am a small child again. It is even more reminiscent of that time as I cry a little.

He exhales shakily, "I beg your forgiveness. You were so awing, Shizua, but I was so worried. I do not want to hurt you. I am so sorry." He abruptly stops his rush of words and kisses my wet hair as he rocks us.

I rub my wet cheeks on his equally wet clothes as I attempt to breathe to stop the sudden onset of tears I am currently suffering under. My voice is shaky as I attempt to respond to him sooner rather than later, "There is no forgiveness needed, brother." In this moment I truly mean all the words that are pouring from me, "Thank you for letting me help." In this moment, with my older brother's love and support I can concentrate on the fact that he allowed me to do this, to go through all of it, and even now he has not mentioned us going home.