Red Rivers and Nightmares

19. Grief (Part 2)

The grass around us sways slightly but I can only now hear their slight rustling as Rion's sobs have quieted. His rocking has stopped but he holds onto her for a moment longer. The shadows that are spreading even longer in front of us does nothing to hide the pain he feels and the pain I feel looking at him holding onto her so desperately. Even as he releases his grasp on her dead body it feels like a part of him has been left behind in her unmoving hands. It is achingly slow for him to sit up and when he does that appears to be as far as he can move. His hand still trembles as he goes back to stroking her hair into what attempts to be some semblance of order. Throughout this I keep my hand on him like how I remember Yura doing for Suni when she came back with her dead son in her arms.

I twitch when he rips away the soft, soothing murmurs of nature with his hoarse voice, "Shifters tend to be born at dawn or dusk but not Lunete. She was the only of Ma's kids and an' my generation to be born under the moon alone. Pa said it meant she was strong an' would have a long an' healthy life." He stops as his lips tremble, even pressed together as they are.

I wrap both arms around him, feeling like I should do something but also not wanting to get in the way of his grieving.

He exhales shakily and his other hand goes to mine. He holds my hands in his tightly. Silent tears fall as he continues, "She was only eleven."

I say nothing, unsure of what to say and knowing whatever I could say would not make him feel better. So, I lay my cheek against his back. I hope that feeling my body, my heat, and my heart beating against his back will comfort him in some minuscule way.

He squeezes my hands as he whimpers, "She was blameless."

This time I do find words, "We will get to the rest of them, Rion. I promise. Rylee, Jaslynn, and Corbin are still waiting for you and your help."

His hand stops brushing her hair and hate fills his voice, "I never should've left. I shouldn't have listened."

I squeeze him, recognizing the self-hate and wanting to dispel it in him before it can truly take hold, like it had me, "If you had stayed you would not be here now to save the others from similar fates." I try alluding to Lunete as gently as possible but I feel myself wincing as I refer to his raw, seeping wound before there has even been time for him to find closure.

He shudders. I know that action is not from the slight wind, not just because the breeze is slightly warm, as his lips quiver holding back his grief. He carefully leans down to kiss her cold forehead and I say nothing as his shoulders shake. I consider letting him go but his hand is still holding tightly to mine, trembling as it is, so I stay.

When he sits up his shoulders have stopped shaking but his voice still wavers, "I wanna bury her here. She'd... she will love it when the grasses bloom."

Speaking as softly as the healers back home I manage not to cry myself as I squeeze his hands, "That sounds lovely."

He nods, his lips pressing so hard they turn white. He looks at her again, unmoving. I gently remove one of my hands so that I can reach for her eyes. I use just a touch of my power to close those sightless, cloudy eyes of hers to the world forever.

Rion inhales and then releases a long, low whining. Just before he starts crying again he turns around and hugs me to him tightly. I ache as deeply now as I did when I found out what was wrong with Weret as I can feel the wetness of his new tears quickly soaking through my clothing. I lean my head against his and wrap him into a hug of my own.

I give him all the comfort I can. I cannot imagine having to deal with losing Akun on top of losing other family members. Even thinking of that happening has me suppressing terror. I rub his back as I find myself wishing I could have had us at Littlefoot faster, maybe then we could have saved all of his people. We need to move faster before this can happen to another beloved family member.