Red Rivers and Nightmares

20. An Older Brother's Wish

The sun makes long shadows from all of us sitting quietly. As if we are all in our own little worlds, when Rion and Iien trek back towards us with others from the group, who had joined them not long after I was given the carving set. At their footsteps I straighten and look behind me to double check that it is indeed them. Dirt stains them but it is Iien's closed expression and Rion's tear tracks that twists my heart.

They too, join wordlessly. I swallow hard as I hand Rion the wrapped leather. He takes it almost absently and looks at it, his hands clench around it. He does not even open it to check that everything he needs is there. Instead, he continues to stare at it, standing and looking lost. He holds back further tears with hard swallows and periodic shivers. Then, he sits down on the other side of me where space is forced between us because of my pack. I wish it was gone so I could at least offer him the comfort of cuddling, since he appears more in shock with Lunete's death than the previous others we came across.

I must be expressing my own upset as Akun pats my unhurt thigh, moving my attention from Rion to Akun where I see his concern growing for me. I am burdened by these things I do not know how to fix but feel like I should.

Instead of saying something, and possibly the wrong thing, I rest my head once more on my little brother's shoulder. I cannot see if this has eased his worry at all but when he rests his own head against mine, and sighs, I feel mildly soothed. Maybe I am doing the right thing with just this?

Iien breaks the heavy silence with his clear, if monotone, voice, "Is there a safe place nearby for your group to retreat to or are you going to stay here for the rest of the day and into the night?"

The dark-haired woman hums in thought as she brushes the hair from the face of her love once more as her eyes gaze tenderly down on him. Even with her loving actions I cannot hear it in her voice as tiredness drags on her words instead, "We'd been on our way to a hamlet not far but I don' wan' ta move us with him being like this, not so soon." She pauses and looks at a spot not far from us. Out of curiosity I follow her gaze to what looks like a good-size hill not far in the distance.

My gaze is drawn back to her when she questions me, "M'lady, would it be safe to move him there? I've a key from Lalune mages to a safe rest that's hidden there."

My eyes widen, this being the first time I have ever heard of anything like this. I want to ask her more questions but it would be rude to ask mine before I have even considered hers.

I look around us and then the hill. I cannot see anything that could act as a shelter to hide out of the open so I am unsure of how far up they would need to go. I purse my lips as I look back at the recent amputee. I must admit to myself about the incessant worry I have had over him. Back at Littlefoot all the ones for me to treat at least had all their body parts mostly attached. Plus, there were light keepers on their way to help if they began to take a turn for the worse.

I know I cannot have a clear understanding of his condition just by looking at him. I grimace as I try to awkwardly get up. The more time that goes on the more my hurt thigh refuses to move. Everybody stares at me but I am not left to struggle long as I hear movement. I do not even have a second to figure out what is going on when warm, big hands grasp me from under my armpits and bodily lift me up.

Next to me is Rion still sitting but looking up at me as if coming out of a fog. I begin to worry about a stranger touching me so quickly from behind. I am adjusted then to balance with my arm across their shoulders and my jaw loosens as I see that it is Iien who is going to help me hobble my way across the informal circle.

The woman is looking at me with great worry, which I promptly ignore. All I can handle are my brothers' worry... and Rion's that I feel burning into my back. Even the worry of these three feels nearly too burdensome for me when there is somebody who had their arm cut off.