𝑫𝑹𝑰𝑭𝑻 [currently being edited]

chapter 26 - brave

Aruna had learnt from a young age that giving away your emotions to those who could hurt you resulted in pain and more effort than it was worth.

She knew people thought of her as a kind soul, yet she did not think so highly of herself.

Yes she tried to be kind everyday, not be the bane of anyone's day. She definitely tried, and people who knew her as the 'little moon' or the moon summoner would think of her as kind, because she hadn't been anything but kind to them.

The other grisha were her people, and she felt comforted by that, it lessened the loneliness.

Yet Aruna was not kind, not all the time. No she was the moon summoner, and the moon thrived in the dark.

Aruna had been the only one to witness what she had to do to survive after she woke up in a rumble of salt, days away from the only home she ever knew.

And being a young girl in an unknown place led Aruna to do things that were not kind.

Later Aruna would reveal why her and Aleksander were so compatible, Aruna worked wonders in the dark. Most alone kids living in alleyways used the blinding light of the sun to survive. It only took a beam of the light in the right direction for people to be momentarily distracted enough for nimble fingers to slip into purses and back pockets.

Yet Aruna always worked best in the dark, it seemed to absorb any sound, any giveaway that she was there. It made it easy to eat at least one meal every few days.

The dark saved her, it did not save anyone else.

The dark did not save the rich that Aruna stole from, nor the other kids that would be dragged away in the night, and seen wearing silks in pleasure houses or heaving ropes on ships, with chains connected to others.

It only seemed to save Aruna.

And for that she was forever grateful. But it did not make her kind, because no child that lived on the street could ever be truly kind, not after what they had to do to survive.

So when Aruna's mother used to get that look on her face, a look that would result in fewer meals and more hours in the salt mine, or when other kids got that greedy look at Aruna's food, Aruna leant not to show her emotions.

And perhaps that was why she did not want to face anything.

Not anymore.

She told stories to the young grisha of her and Aleksanders travels, attacks on the carriages and other adventures. Aruna wanted them to feel brave in a world filled with hate for their kind, for simply existing.

Yet Aruna never felt brave. She wasn't brave enough to tell Alina that she had hurt her feelings when she clearly flirted with Aleksander.

She was brave enough to tell Aleksander how she felt, but she was always confined to the dark.

She wasn't brave enough to her friends that it hurt that none of them noticed when she and Aleksander weren't sleeping in the same room.

Aruna always felt slightly hurt, and she didn't want to be hurt again. Not by a mother who resented her existence, a daily reminder of the man who humiliated and broke her heart. Not Aleksander who she still loved, even though he was more of a villain than the hero that the world saw. She still saw him as the man filled with love for her, and dedication to grisha, yet he still made himself the villain in his tale.

Aruna just wasn't brave enough to confront the man in front of her, perhaps he was just an uncle, not her father.

Not the man that tricked her mother, already married with children. Aruna wanted to be kind, show the kindnesses that helped heal her soul, but all she could feel was a slight rage and the desire to cry her sorrows in champagne and Aleksander's stupidly warm arm's, while he asked the staff to make her a warm bath.

She wanted her villain, not the so-called kind family man who had unknowingly abandoned her to a life of abuse.

Yet when he looked over and shock was clear when looking at the distressed moon summoner and the Black Heretic whispering sweet nothings about doing whatever Aruna needed, she remembered why everyone called her a slight pushover, why she would always read an extra page if the kids asked.

Because when Aleksander gently pulled her out of the crowded ballroom and brushed off her tears, she hadn't even realized were wetting her dress, and when the man that mirrored her looks followed them into the empty hallway.

Well Aruna wanted a parent, it didn't matter that she was old enough to be a mother herself. Aruna wanted that support system, she wanted someone to love her unconditionally, just as a parent should.

Was she terrified that if she stopped looking at the now dishevelled man, playing awkwardly with his hair, and found out he was her uncle or that he wanted nothing to do with her.

Yes, but Aruna was going to do this because she needed this.

So wrapped in Aleksander who was angrily glaring and looking shocked at the same time, a rare show of emotions in front of others, crying and ruining Aleksander's kefta, which he looked as if he could care less about right now. Aruna slowly extended her hand, "Hi I am Aruna, are you my father?"