Chapter 5: Stutter

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Cameron looked shyly between Louis and I. He nervously stepped forward, fiddling with his hands anxiously.

“You can see him?” I asked in shock. No one was supposed to see Louis except for me. I had given up hope of others ever being able to see my beautiful boyfriend again but now this new boy could. How was this even possible? The boy nodded in response to my question.

“He probably can’t. He’s just like the rest of these lunatics in here.” Louis said disrespectfully. He looked the boy up and down and sneered. I didn’t need an explanation to tell me that Louis was doing this because he disliked the boy. He was attractive and sweet and in my room. Of course Louis disliked him.

“I-I’m n-n-not a-a l-lunatic.” Cameron stuttered.  “T-That’s m-m-mean.” He pouted cutely and I couldn’t help but smile.

“You can hear me?” Louis questioned. Cameron nodded and smiled at us both. Louis didn’t look pleased. I didn’t know why though, I was happy about this. This was proof that I wasn’t just some crazy grief-stricken guy someone else could see Louis. I wasn’t the only one.

“Louis, he can see you! This is a miracle!” I squealed whilst jumping up and down on the bed.

Louis frowned at me, “I think I need to go…I’ll be back in a minute.” He said faintly. Before I could object he had already vanished. Cameron lightly waved goodbye to the now empty space.

“W-Where d-d-did h-he g-g-g-go?” He stuttered. Now that he was left alone with me his stuttering seemed to increase.

“He sometimes goes off. I think he just needs some time to process this. He’s been around for ages without people being able to see him and now it turns out you can. I think he’s excited but a bit scared.”

“I-I-I d-d-d-don’t th-think he l-l-likes m-m-m-me.” Cameron stuttered sadly. I could see the frustration on his face as he struggled with saying each simple word. I never really knew anyone with a major stuttering problem. There were probably others like him in this place but I never really bothered with anyone else since Louis was always by my side.

“No, he just needs to get to know you. We both do. We only know your name…” I said.

“I-I-I’m s-s-s-sor…” He smacked his head violently with the palm of his hand. I see this kind of thing a lot in here. People get frustrated and they look to harming themselves for it. I quickly moved to remove Cameron’s hand from his forehead. I held his hand in mine and with my other hand I checked to see if he did any damage to his face – this is what the staff usually did. He was fine.

“Do you want to write down whatever you need to say?” I said, already looking around the room for pen and a paper but Cameron pulled out a pen and small folded piece of paper from his back pocket and began writing. Once he was finished he passed it to me.

“R-R-Re-Read?” He stuttered. He looked down disappointedly when he could barely say the one word. I took the paper with a comforting smile.

‘I’m sorry if I upset your boyfriend. I didn’t think I’d be actually seeing him when I came to apologise for bumping into you. I’ve always been a fan of One Direction and even though the band isn’t together anymore I still think your music was awesome. I was brought here yesterday and I kind of only realised today that this is where you’re admitted. I’m happy that you have him. He must really care about you enough to come back from the dead.’

I read over his note. His last sentence touched my heart and I felt tears springing to my eyes. Louis did care about me and he’s sacrificed his chance at a peaceful and happy afterlife just to stay with me. He was my Boo-Bear and I know it may sound selfish but I wouldn’t want him to leave. I need him and I know he needs me. Cameron looked at me with slightly raised eyebrows, waiting for me to comment on what he wrote.

“I…You didn’t upset him and it’s really great that you’re a fan. I haven’t really thought about the band in ages. I still speak to Niall but the band is dead…just like—Hey, I still need to know more about you.” I said trying to change the subject. Cameron nodded once again. I took his hand a led him over to the bed were we sat down. “Alright, tell me everything about you.”

‘Like what?’ Cameron wrote.

“Anything.” I answered. Cameron furrowed his eyebrows in thought. Light dimples began to peak out in his cheeks as he continued to think.

‘I’m in here for multiple-personality disorder but as long as I take my meds I’m alright. When you bumped into me I hadn’t been given my meds yet and I was struggling with trying to keep the voices from telling me what to do. It hurts my head when they speak but I know they’re not really there.’

“Do your family and friends visit you?”

‘My Dad died when I was 10 but my Mum and my best-friend Sid always visit me.’ As Cameron wrote Sid’s name his cheeks faintly tinted pink.

“Do you have a crush on Sid?” I asked. His eyes widened and he began quickly writing.

‘He’s just my friend. We’ve kissed a few times before but we never talked about it.’

“Come on, Cam. I can see that you like him. When he comes to visit you I want you to snog his face off.”

Cam giggled cutely. “I can’t.” He giggled. I looked at him stunned. He was able to say two words without stuttering and he barely realised. He looked at me in confusion.

“Cam, you just spoke…without stuttering.” I said excitedly.

“I-I-I d-d-did?” He asked. I nodded proudly. Cam embraced me in an excited hug and that’s when Louis reappeared. He always comes in at the wrong moments.

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