Cate Blanchett One Shots

She finds out

A/N: O2 TW serious trigger warning. This chapter has self harm, sexual assault, chronic depression and anxiety. This is an angst and fluff

You let out a low sob, curling into a tight ball in the corner. Your eyes glistened with tears as they frantically shot around the room taking in the sight of your empty bathroom. Your hands tightened in your hair pulling at the strands. The noise. All the fucking noise. You couldn't deal with it. It was stifling. Like your ears had been filled with cotton. A tear fell down your cheeks landing on the floor with a deafening sound that rang in your ears. He was there. You had seen him with your own eyes. Watching you from the corner. His empty sockets staring at you. That sick smirk on his face. Your skin crawled. You could feel him. Feel his hands on your body. Feel the blood trickling between your legs. The skin bruising under his palms. And you could feel it. A distraught cry left your lips. You were pathetic. Couldn't even get out the door. Couldn't even leave your home. Why couldn't you be normal? Why couldn't you just forget, be like everyone else? His calls filled your ears, his face in your field of vision. You writhed on the floor, trying to escape him. His wandering hands. You knew you shouldn't have had that extra drink. Shouldn't have left with him. "FUCK OFF, FUCK OFF, FUCK OFF". You were hysterical screaming at a shadow. A shadow that was supposed to have been gone. You slipped further and further into a defensive ball. Further and further into your own mind. You could feel him on your skin and with a choked sob, you rose unsteadily to your feet keeping an eye in the shadow. You stood in the shower, turned it up to a scalding temperature and tipped your head back scrubbing. Scrubbing. Scrubbing. Everywhere he had touched. The hands were back. The muffled feeling in your ears. The sickening fear. You closed your eyes. His face. You opened them again. Red. You looked down curiously. Your skin was raw. Bleeding steadily from the many gashes along your ribs. Along your thighs. Your eyes widened. The pain was coursing through your body. Letting out a low sigh you lent your head back, feeling the burn of the water cascading over your face. Washing away the well earned blood spillage. The wounds you deserved. You were to weak. You should have fought back. Should have tried harder. Did that mean you'd liked it? Deserved the pain? The embarrassment of being found? Clothes all over the place. Crying. Pathetic. Your nails dug into one of the inflamed cuts releasing a huge wave of relaxation throughout you. A panicked knock reverberated in your ears and you hastily pulled a towel around your bloody body. "Darling are you alright in there?". Shit you thought it's Cate. You choked slightly as you forced out your words. "I'm fine Cate, I promise". You winced. Jesus you didn't sound very confident. The frantic knocking increased. "Darling, let me in...please". A tear fell down your cheek as you just let her open the door. You watched in fear as the door handle slowly opened. You could see her hair first. So brilliantly blonde. And then her horrified face. A strangled cry left your lips as she reached for you. You skirted back pressing yourself further back into the corner of the room. "Baby" she breathed out, approaching you with caution. You watched her your back tensed in fear. She eventually reached you holding her arms out in the universal sign for a hug. You shot forward straight into your loves arms, tears rushing down yours and hers face. You just stood there, basking in the happiness this women bought you. "I love you.  I live for you. My stars. My sun. My moon. I will help you through this. I promise". Your eyes glistened with unshed tears. You could sense the truth. She truly loved you.  Forever and always.
If anyone ever feels like this or has had something as disgusting as non consensual sex then please talk to someone you trust. Or me. I'm always here and as a survivor myself I am here for all of you. I love you all. Don't let it consume you. Please