request: 🌙 — may i request an angst/comfort blurb with (any) bucky using prompt 1989-5?
prompt: "why'd you have to go and lock me out when i let you in?"
pairing: tfatws!bucky barnes x fem!reader
word count: 417
warnings: angst city™ bitch
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Bucky Barnes was good at pushing people away. One could consider him an expert at it. He wasn't good with people. At least, that's what he convinced himself. But, with you, it was different. You'd been Steve's friend when he was alive, meeting him while you worked for SHIELD. In the organization's downfall, you'd joined the Avengers and later went on the run in the aftermath of the Sokovia Accords.
Bucky didn't know you very well back then. He didn't really get to know you until you were helping him and Sam stop the Flag Smashers. He was on edge the entire time—stopping the group, fighting with Sam, dealing with Zemo, wanting to kill Walker. But, being with you was easy. During the calm admit the chaos, he went to you. You were sweet and kind, a rare sort of niceness that he wasn't quite used to.
Opening up to you was easy. Loving you was easy. After the dust had settled, he asked you out. He thought it would go well. But, that was where it went horribly wrong.
"I'm sorry, Buck, but I just don't see you like that," you'd said, reaching out to pat his hand.
He pulled away, crossing his arms. "Oh. I...I'm sorry. I guess I misread the signals."
"I guess. I'm sorry. I just, I didn't mean to lead you on or anything," you said. "You're a great friend, and I just don't want to ruin that."
"Because being with me would ruin things."
"That's not what I mean. I'm not looking for a relationship, you know? I just wanna have good, healthy friendships. I'm not in a place where I would...I'm sorry."
"It's fine," he said. It wasn't. "I understand." He didn't.
"I'm sorry. Really." You took a step back. "I gotta go."
He nodded, watching you leave. He stood by himself, wondering what to do with himself. His heart had sunk all the way down to his feet. He had been so sure that you liked him. Sam had been so sure, too, telling Bucky that there was no way you'd turn him down. Where did it all go wrong? To himself, he whispered, "Why'd you have to go and lock me out when I let you in?"
Shaking his head, he turned on his heels, ready to head home. Wherever that was. He would get through this, he was sure he would. But, still, it ached, and he didn't know if it would ever stop.
