Love as rich as chocolate ~TodoBaku~

Chapter 3: only a mistake if you don't learn from it

Akio Todoroki

I don't quite know what I was thinking.

I don't quite know if I was thinking.

You know sometimes, ideas just...happen? Like, there's no preface, no contextual cues around you, you just think of something? I remember once I was playing video games, totally innocent, aged maybe 12 or 13. Then, suddenly, and with absolutely no relation to Call of Duty whatsoever, my brain was just like "hey, it'd be really funny if you threw an egg at Mrs Nakajima's house!"

Of course, I never did. Mrs Nakajima was a lovely old lady, and I had no such intention of doing anything so vile and despicable. However...I had the idea to. And why? Who knows!

That's exactly what I was experiencing right now, drunk as the sky is blue, and going through what could only be described as hell. My brain was saying all sorts of things to me, all things that were rationally bad ideas, and that I knew I would regret, so had just enough composure to resist them.

But damn they scared me.

Damn Kei, you're so hot in those glasses~!

Ryo, I swear, you gotta stop being such a snack~!

God, either one of you could tear me apart~!

I mean...the fuck?! I'm not gay! No, absolutely not, non messieurs! If I was gay, I'd watch gay porn! I watch straight porn! Y'know, with tits? And pussies? And...dicks..and balls...BUT I'M NOT GAY! I even tried lesbian porn once, but it...wasn't for me OH GOD-

I'd heard it time and time again. "Ha, bet you're gay like your dads, huh?"

It didn't bother me, because I'd known it wasn't true...

Thought it wasn't true...

Is it true?

Am I...actually...you know what, I'm not thinking about this now. Now is the time to get shitfaced, not have a breakdown! Besides, I have all of tomorrow and Sunday to worry about shit like that! Now was about, drinking, having fun, and kissing g-

-etting treated like a child goodbye!

...

...

...I was gonna say guys then...

That was enough of a reason for me to get another drink, doing my best to:
A) Avoid Ryo and Kei
B) Not fall over

Fortunately, the two boys were pretty out of it themselves, and were away in the far corner of the room. Holding this party in a dorm room was, in hindsight, fucking stupid, since there were so many people in such a small room. So many drunk, sweaty bodies piled on each other, it was so hot it felt like I was on fire. The girl I'd spied coming in seemed to not be among them, but how much I trusted my eyes right now was minimal. My head was spinning, pounding with the music on play through someone's portable speaker. There were countless couples making out in the room, and I swore I saw some girl genuinely getting fucked on a couch, but honestly who gave a shit. I wouldn't remember any of this in a few hours time, so why not party like fucking idiots?

...I'll tell you why. Because waking up the next morning, strewn across someone else's bed amongst at least five other bodies of varying gender and decency, is not how Sundays should start. Sunday is a religious day, for crying out loud! If God saw this, he'd send the Genesis Flood again!

Then again...it is a religious day of rest. And we are technically resting, although my head certainly isn't. There's a stampede of wild elephants charging through it at 100mph, and it didn't feel like they would slow down anytime soon. One of the completely naked girls from the bed started to stir, and so I made a desperate lunge for the door, stumbling my way out of the bedroom as if I were still as wasted as last night. I vaguely acknowledged Kei and Ryo slumped on each other in the corner, and half considered getting a picture to mock them with, but I wasn't much in the mood at the moment. It turns out my assertion of forgetting all of last night had been quite vastly wrong, and I still had vivid visions of what I'd thought of doing to...errr...with my friends.

Thing is...it was almost worse that it wasn't just one of them. If it were just one, I could pass it off as a fleeting moment of immense admiration and nothing more, but because it was both, it was more than that. Plus...if it did turn out I was gay...I'd then have to choose! What a goddamn predicament to be put in after just turning 18! News flash, kids! You don't suddenly know how to do tax returns when you turn 18! Life ain't that easy, and neither is figuring out who you wanna seduce when trying to get laid, apparently. To be straight with you, while I still can, among the thoughts of how hot my friends looked last night..there was also some more...r-rated stuff that came to mind...

...OK, I IMAGINED KEI WHISPERING IN MY EAR AS HE FUCKED ME! YES, I MIGHT'VE WANTED TO DROOL AT THE THOUGHT OF RYO'S BODY COVERED IN WHIPPED CREAM AND STRAWBERRIES! PERHAPS, I CONSIDERED WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO TRY TAKING BOTH OF THEM AT ONCE! WOOHOO! GO, LITTLE VIRGIN ME!

...I'm a mess
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I'M A LOSER
I'M A HATER
I'M A USER

Fact of the Day: this chapter is just full on PANIC