Tw: Suicide, vomiting
I should've listened to Reki. When he whispered to me that he'd leave me if I dare to have a beef with anyone. Now he probably left me. My mom isn't here either. I heard she sat home crying. I really fucked it up. "I hate myself... a wonder that I don't have any permanent damages. Just the temporary pain." I start losing hope day by day as no one visits me in the hospital. I start to not take my pain meds but instead just collecting them. I text Reki everyday, Miya and my mum too! But they never answered. God I hate myself. I just want to be the perfect. I wish a was a perfect person with perfect grades and everyone loving me soooo much. I wish... I just wish.
I start writing a letter for Miya and one for my mom.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear mom,
I am sorry for what I did. I promise it won't happen again. I promise that it can't happen again. I want to say goodbye. Forever. Please don't be mad or hurt. I promise it's not your fault! I was just stupid and I don't deserve to be forgiven. I hurt all of you and it is only my fault. You can scream at me. Yell at me. Do everything. I don't care.If you read this I maybe am already dead. Maybe I already am on my way to hell. I am so sorry for what I am about to do but there is no other way for me.
Your Y/n
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Miya,
I am sorry. So sorry for all the mistakes I made. For everydumb overreaction out of jealousy and not being able to love myself and be confident. I am a failure. I am sorry for bothering you so much and taking away useful time in your life. I'll make sure to end it. To end all my mistakes now and in the future. I won't make mistakes anymore. I promise! I want to say good bye. Forever. Please just forget me. I love you
Your Y/n
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Day by day I look at all the meds I collected. "Not yet." I always whisper. A few days later I have the news that I can leave the hospital in a week. //Now it's time. No one ever came to visit// When there is no nure near I get out the meds I hid all along and think about it again. //Should I really do it? I mean no one seems to care anymore. I made them all leave. I did so much wrong I just can't handle it. // I hear steps on the hallway so I quickly take the meds and hide the little cointainer I had them in. Swallowing them in one go is literaly impossible so I drink very much water to get them down. As I swallowed I take a deep breath and call Reki. While hoping that he picks up I already regret taking them.To my suprised he picks up. "Hello?" "Reki! Please come to the hospital as fast as you can" "Why?" "I... I need to say goodbye to you. and-" "What do you mean say goodbye? Why to me?" "Please just... you're important to me. You helped me through tough times and now I can't get you out of my head. If you don't to see me again it's ok but you're the only one that I want to on my side right now" "What happened to you? You're so different!" "I'm Dying goddamnit! I want someone to be on my while I die. Someone I trust. Someone that is my best friend and will forever be in my heart. Even if you hate me now I still want to be your best friend man" "I'm... I'm sorry I'll come now" Are his last words as he hungs up.
My body already gets sweaty and my breathing heavy. Reki burst through the door. "Did you already tell your mom and everyone?" Reki asks me. "No. I don't want them to know.. I- I regret it" I answer. "What do you mean regret?" He clearly is confused. "It's my fault that I am dying right now" Now Reki realises. His face screams pure horror. He is shocked. "You're trying to fucking kill yourself?! I'll get the nurse" "No don't! Please" I grad his arm. He stands still."I... don't want you to die y/n." "Please Reki... Let me die" He sighs. I have a sudden urge to vomit and try to run to the bathroom. "Shit Y/n what are you doing" Reki grabs me. "I have to vomit!" I say muffled since I hold my hand in fromt of my mouth. He helps me to the toilet in the perfect second. My body starts shivering as I vomit out the meds that my body wasn't even able to take anymore. Reki soaked a towel in cold water for me. "I'll get the nurse now. This is enough." Reki gets out of the room and goes get a nurse. My body shiver. I won't stop vomiting. My vision blurs. Finally. It all ends. Everything stops. A happy end in an unhappy one. Reki and a nurs rush into the bathroom. I smile at Reki:"Goodbye, Reki" My vision gets black and I just completly drop to the ground. Now there is me laying on the floor. About to die. The nurse gets more people. I can still hear Reki sobbing before I actually pass out. That hospital has probably enough of me. Is this the end of my Story? Is this where my Book stops? It was a great journey. A wonderful book to read with a sad ending. A not so perfect main character and tragic incidents. I was a great Author. In my afterlife I'll continue my book.
~This is my bad ending~
A/n:
This will NOT be the last chapter except you want it to be. The next chapters are going to be like "a part two". I mentioned that I don't want this to be so long but I really enjoy writing this and having always new ideas while writing. Even if I had a long break now I really am happy to write again.
For everyone that wants this to be the last chapter. For everyone that wants the bad ending:
Thank you for supporting me all the way. I hope this Fanfiction was different from the others. I hope you felt comfortable. And I hope that this fanfiction was an emotional rollercoaster for you. Thank you.
For everyone that wants to continue reading:
I already ofc have the next chapter in planning but if you have any ideas or wishes comment them please!
YOU ARE READING
Mister Catboy (Chinen Miya x Reader)
FanfictionY/n starts with figureskating but then also finds out about skateborading and tries it... but fails horribly. They soon hear about "S" and decide to look what actually happens there what... was not a good Idea. This Fanfiction will be written with t...
