𝙄𝙣𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙚

Harsh Truth

Natille's POV •

It all started with a lie.

An "at-the-time" friend promised to set me up with a stud. That friend was straight, always went on about how she didn't understand the hype with studs...but herself was boy crazy and as narcissistic as a bitch could come.

She sent me a fake picture.

Well, the picture was real, so real to me that it hurt when a few years later it actually hit me that this was a common picture of a very popular lesbian online. She told me that this girl with a slick smile was her cousin, even though now I clearly see that it just must have been that old friend of mine texting me from someone else's number.

All while she watched my happiness and smiles, little by little, until the "cousin" stopped texting. For all I know, that girl very well might have been her cousin...but my gut is telling me that someone else was just playing me. Worst of all, it had been someone I considered a friend.

It wouldn't be the first time someone betrayed me but it hurts just the same.

That was back when I was younger, barely into my double digits as far as age. But now I'm a grown woman, and I got grown woman shit to handle. I don't have time for love, and hopefully love will never have time for me.

I slip on a gray hoodie and my slim black joggers. I can hear the steady rhythm of rain outside my window as I grab my raincoat and adjust the temperature in the house for when I get back.

I can't believe it's already Sunday when I feel like I barely got a taste of the weekend. Back to stress and orders and clients. Back to the big ole grown up world. I ask myself everyday if it's worth it...reminiscing on my old childhood happiness but the truth is...I don't have a choice but to keep pushing forward. It hurts, and it feels like every setback that's thrown at me is personal. I must be a horrible person to go through all of this pain, but I must stay strong. Because if I don't, what is there left for me to do?

I turn on the burglar alarm and slip out of the house, my father's peaceful snores now behind me. The dark sky crackles with lightning and booms with thunder, but I only take that as a welcoming to start my morning jog.

I leave behind our grand house for the twisting sidewalk that crawls it's way through the nearby forest. My curly hair's wet and wild as I feel myself slowly letting go. Slowly breathing in the forest.

Just yesterday my dad had mentioned moving out again. I mean, I'm a 19 year old woman, it's kind of expected by now. He's just...he's not like the other parents. My father is my best friend, my dad, shit even a roommate all in one. Once I leave here, this will be my final let go of childhood. It feels like for once in history, the father isn't trying to hold onto his baby girl- she's trying to hold onto him.

"I don't wanna grow up," I gasp out, letting the rain trickle down my slightly chapped lips. I feel warm tears dancing down my face but I ignore them and continue to push on.

Always moving forward.

I make it to the edge of Forest River too soon. It was a neighborhood filled with mostly whites, a few Indian people, and even fewer African Americans. My dad was blessed to have enough cash in his pockets to allow us to enjoy what we have. But sometimes I wished that I was more connected to my community. Around more people with my skin tone.

When I speak, slang sounds uncomfortable and clumsy on my tongue...but I promise you that doesn't stop it from slipping in between tensed thighs and into gushing pussy. I just wish I had more for myself. More for my sense of identity.

I glance back the way I came and sigh again. At this point my clothes would be thoroughly soaked despite my raincoat. I guess it had truly been flimsy after all, as that costumer had stated. I work selling rip off Fashion Nova fits to influencers and frankly anybody who will buy them. It's not like the company don't steal ideas, so I steal them right back. Right now I'm sporting a trending jacket, but I guess the material isn't as good as the original like I sell it to be.

Too bad.

I'm making some good money under my fake IG with the help of the desperate and the stupid, but business has been slow lately and my dad hasn't stopped mentioning me moving out. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do come the end of the month. I feel like he's going to expect results or something. Proof I've been scoping out a place, more money, shit maybe even fully moved out.

I don't know what to do. I walk slowly back home, a lot on my mind as I genuinely wonder if I should have went to college like he suggested. That year break had turned into never, and now here I am.

I bite on my nail as I reach my front door and unlock it. I'm barely inside when something sharp hits my head. I scream out loud enough that I hear nearby birds flapping away. God, if this is the last moment that I live- I hope someone heard me. Don't let my body rot on the doorstep in the rain for hours.

Let my heavy sleeping ass father find me.

I fall to the ground and black out, my last gasp of air choked by rain water.

❤️‍🔥