𝙄𝙣𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙚

Lustful Memories

Natille's POV •

"I wonder who's she with in those videos," I say to Liv, laying across her couch. She had given me some blankets and one of her pillows to lay on. We had both awkwardly agreed to that without any hesitation. Pink Panther plays on her TV through YouTube on her fire stick but I've been thinking about Xiomara the whole time since I got here.

No, no, no. Not in that way. I've been trying to figure out why she lived in a house- no shit, a mansion like that. Why Regina would want to possibly drug me? Why I feel so guilty? Why my father slept with my ex.

"You keep mentioning that girl," Liv scowls.

I reach for a Cheeto but she pulls the bowl away.

Somehow I had ended up laying on her chest as she flipped through her phone. "Because- Because- I mean, you're the one who wanted me to apologize to her."

"You like her or some shit?" Liviya asked me as she focuses intently on her phone. She's either on TikTok or Triller, I already know it.

I pause for a moment.

"I-

"Damn," Liv comments. At first I think it's because of the video she's watching, but then she starts to raise up. I slowly move off of her and watch as she heads to her room. The door closes loudly and I wait for about five minutes, thinking she's going to come back.

After awhile, I realize that it must have been something I said. I slowly stand up and approach her door. My foot creaks right before I get to it and I hear her move on her bed. What did I say wrong?

"Don't," Liv calls out.

Bryson Tiller ass.

I still open her door anyways, and catch sight of her teary, red face before she flips over and buries it into her pillow. "Liv, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Please leave. Please leave," she repeats, clutching the pillow to her face. I come around the bed and try to pull it away but she has a tight grip.

"You want me to leave?" I ask slowly.

"Not like that, just- stay in the living room for right now," she says.

I feel stupid for talking to her with a pillow over her head but I sigh. "Liv, tell me what's wrong."

"I never pressed you hard about your mother and why she was in prison. About your occasional stuttering. About your dyslexia. Just leave me alone for right now, okay? Do me that favor please."

"No. Because you're hurting and you're my friend, Liv," I lay my hand on her cool arm.

"I don't wanna mess up our friendship, Natille."

"Tell me," I say softly.

"I still have feelings for you, okay?" She drops the pillow on her bed and sits up. She looks down at her bed, tracing a pattern. "It motherfucking sucks to see that you like somebody else-

"Who?" I interrupt.

"You're obviously trying to fuck with this Xiomara chick. And it fucking sucks."

"I thought you wanted us to be friends," I say, reaching slowly to grab her hand. "Because-

"Because we were insecure about how our community would see us," Liv finishes for me. "I'm not insecure anymore. And studxstud relationships are becoming more well known, Nat. I'm not...ashamed anymore. I don't feel alone anymore."

"Liv, still. I don't get what you're trying to say?"

"I wanna be with you, Nat," Liv slowly meets my eyes. "And I don't care what anyone might think."