Full ~Kaneki x Reader AU~

Chapter 16: Beautiful Mind

What does a blinking cursor, blank document, and publisher all have in common?

All are waiting for an author to create something worth reading.

Not a funny joke by any means, but also not a lie. Even with her being back in H/P, I can practically feel Regina breathing down my neck, hovering over my shoulder as the cursor and document stare with awe struck eyes, all waiting to see something to be written. But what have I written so far? Nothing. That's what. Just a big fat dish of nothin'.

Frustrated, I let out another grunt and take a sip of my coffee. Mako and I got back about an hour ago, at which he went to his suite, and I went to mine. And in mine I have stayed, fixing up myself a meal and making some coffee, but after doing that, I am now here. Once again planted in front of my laptop, glaring at that screen.

I wish something would happen. I wish something would manifest. An idea. A story. Even a mere snippet - just something. Anything. Give me something to work with. Even if it's the ugliest, sloppiest slab of clay, give it to me. I can work with that. I can make it something. But not giving me anything? I can't work with nothing.

Another sigh, then the latch of the door. I don't flinch. I don't freeze. I just turn, watching as Kaneki makes his way into the suite, kicking his shoes off and setting them aside neatly. He then stands and sighs, appearing so, so tired, just like all the times before. Honestly, though I feel indifferent about going back to H/P, I do feel some relief in knowing that my leaving will lighten the burden on his shoulders - even if he tries to tell me otherwise.

"Welcome back," I say, returning my gaze to the screen. "Shower is open and there's a fresh pot of coffee being brewed."

"Those both sound wonderful," he yawns. "I'll shower first. I'll be back."

"I'll be here."

Not a lie. Unless someone breaks in and heaves me away like before. This is where I plan to be. Sitting. Staring. Internally screaming. Fuming.

"Alright, then."

I listen, hearing him step into the restroom and after some time, the water beats to life, the strumming of showerhead singing. Not a distraction, of course. Just a pleasant little drum that sounds, breaking the silence that I have previously been in. And honestly, it's soothing, though I suppose simply knowing he's here is what allows that feeling.

I just sit, listening to the water bead in the shower, staring at my document, the reel of thoughts spinning. So much is going through my head. So many thoughts just racing and racing. Anteiku. Aogiri Tree. Mako. Nishiki. Touka. All are just swirling and swirling.

All these people. All they want to do is live and survive. That's all. Just the same as me. We're all only trying to keep swimming along the stream of this crazy thing known as life. That's all.

And just like that, it comes to me.

With eyes fixated on the screen and fingers tapping away at the keyboard at a new speed I never even knew I was capable of; I take to the race. Suddenly, this thought - this idea - is overtaking me, consuming me.

I type and type away, the words suddenly flowing like water dripping from a faucet. So easily. So effortlessly. So fluidly.

Several minutes pass, Kaneki emerging from the restroom, though I remain focused, not wanting to lose this inspiration. Then again, at this rate, I doubt I can lose this inspiration because it is currently pumping through my veins at the same speed like a freight train barreling down the tracks. Fast. Aggressive. Furious. There is no time such as the present.

"Wow," Kaneki says, stepping closer. "This is the most I've seen you write since coming here."

I just smile, shrugging, "What can I say? I think I finally found my groove."

"Oh? May I ask what has inspired you?"

I don't think. I just speak. "Actually, everything. This trip. Anteiku, Aogiri Tree, you."

At this point, I look to him, watching as one of his brows lifts, confusion filling his eyes. And I realize how that sounded.

"Oh. Wow. I'm sorry. That sounded...weird." I stop typing, pushing away from my laptop, almost as if to show him I'm invested in this conversation more. "What I meant to say was, I think I've been inspired by seeing both sides to all this. To see how humans fear ghouls and to how ghouls fear the CCG. Though, I'm not sure if that makes much sense."

Confusion remains plastered on his face. "I want to say I understand, but I don't. You were inspired by all this?"

I'm looking for the best way to explain this. The best way to fully explain what it is that is coursing through my head. But truth be told, I've always been bad with verbally expressing myself. Always. Still, all I can do is try.

I collapse my hands together. "This world...it's messed up. Really messed up, and I know there's way more than just ghouls versus humans and vice versa, but it's one of the many problems. And I've seen both sides. You more than anybody has seen both sides. So, I thought..."

I pause, suddenly nervous to reveal what it is that's suddenly manifested itself into my head. I fidget, thinking of what to say when he encourages me.

"You were thinking...?"

I suck my lower lip in and huff, "I was thinking...maybe I could write a book that showcases both sides. Ya know...to bring awareness? A fictional telling, of course! I wouldn't dream of revealing any identities or hinting at any of the IRL sources! I promise!"

Honestly, I say this with a slight tremble, only flashbacking to when Tatara and Eto entered my previous hotel room. The whole reason they did that was because of my involvement with Kaneki. Because of the things, I guess they supposed that I knew when in fact I didn't. But now, even with it only being Kaneki, I still can't help but shudder. I mean, what if this upsets him? Which is a horrible thing to even consider.

However, Kaneki must take note of my destress and gingerly reaches over, taking my hand into his, at which I look up, meeting his eyes. They appear soft and gentle, a sweet smile bending his lips.

"You want to help. I like that. I appreciate that. I think we all would. But you don't have to do that."

This catches my attention. "But...I want to. I feel as if this needs to be done. There has to be -"

"A way. I know." His grip on my hand tightens ever so slightly. "If you felt led to do that, then do that. I trust you. And I know it will be incredible."

I almost - almost - want to call his bluff. However, as I sit here, my eyes locked with his, I can see he is telling the truth. He isn't trying to silence me. He isn't trying to contain or control me. He is supporting me. He is being supportive. He is...being Kaneki.

And just like so many times before, my heart races.

**Hello, all my sweet, sweet lovelies! How are y'all doing? I hope you're doing good! If not, I hope it all improves! So, not a whole lot happening right now, but it seems Kaneki is supportive of Y/N's book idea. Which is nice, right? I think it is. Honestly, I don't really have much else to say, so...thank y'all so, so much for all da love! Y'all are the bestest! Wuv yous!! <3**

-Noel Ross