you are my eternity

- a vague nostalgia -

nighttime terrifies me , ever since childhood i find myself waking up panting and in a panic as if i had lost something ever so precious to me , the deep sense of loss , the vague nostalgia , a feeling ever so profound that it is difficult to comprehend and Tonight was no different . 

"𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴." 

"𝘪 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘦. " 

"𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳."

a silhoutte dressed in crimson red as if blood itself had latched itself onto the attire and gave it a blood red hue , disappearing into a million flutters of silver butterflies glowing ever so brightly right in front of me . 

" This dream again " 

he wakes up in a sudden panic finding himself  shedding a tear which to Xie Lian's surprise hadn't occurred before . 

" i hate this , i hate this so much " he said while sobbing covering his eyes with his palms . 

he groaned in frustration , " these sleeping pills don't work either what am i supposed to do ?"

after calming himself down  , he took his phone which was placed right next to his bed , he checked the time , 5:30 in the morning , he thought it was a good time for him to go for a morning jog to relax his mind . 

"i have to be quiet otherwise ill wake everyone else. " he said while quietly pacing his way down the stairs of his residence . 

the outside seemed like a breather from all the anxiety to Xie Lian , the calm yet soft wind rushing through his silky hair which he put into a small bun and began to head over while slowly jogging his way through the roads which were ever so silent . He turned on the music playing a soft piano cover while wearing his headphones . 

after a 45 minute jog , Xie Lian was heading back to his house , when he heard similar voice calling out his name . 

" Xie Lian , Xie Lian, XIE LIAN !! "

at first Xie lian thought he was hearing things , after all those dreams constantly playing with his mind he felt he was overthinking , but no ,it was someone definitely calling out his name as he turned around and saw a similar face . 

" Shi Qingxuan , good morning to you . " Xie Lian said in a calm yet poised tone . 

" A very good morning to you too Mr. Next big psychologist ."  Shi Qingxuan said in a playful and energetic tone . 

" I see you're quiet energetic like always ." 

" of course i am your highness. " 

 Ever since Shi Qingxuan met Xie Lian he has been casually calling him "your highness" after finding out he's from a prestigious family he feels the name ever so subtly suits his demeanor .