Love is Love - One Shots

Vent oc

I don't deserve this. Why is he giving me his attention? I don't deserve this. Im disgusting, Im disgusting, thats all ive ever been told all my life. I want him to tell me he loves comfort me, hold me, everything no ones ever done for me. But he wont, ever. Because I deserve this. I derserve not to be loves. Ever.

"Are you alright, you look like you've seen a ghost," Darweshi asks, a giggle escapes his lips, eyes crinkling at the corners as he grins. Fuck! Hes so great i need to shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up shutup shut up. Stop thinking about him, you don't deserve him, so shut up.

"Seb?" His voice. Worry, full of worry. Voice full of worry. Why? A hand. I flinch. A hand in mine. His hand in mine. What? Why? Why? Why why why why? Why does he care? Why is he holding my hand.

It's him, not people at school, its him, not my father. I don't have to worry, right? I don't have toi worry about him hurting me. Its him. Him. Someone thats so carful but still makesme feel special. "Shit, yeah, sorry, just thinking." Simple, I cant even tell him a thing. He doesnt need me, but he still wants to stay. "I can tell there is something wrong-" A squeeze, thumb rubbing over my knuckles, "you can talk to me, Seb. Anything and everything, always." I swear my pupils are in the shape of hearts.

"Fucking shit, I feel worthless and that I don't deserve to be cared about. I feel like everything my dad has said to me is true. And I hate it. Its horrible. I don't like feeling like this. But its hard not to. I wish i could be normal. Not feel this. Youve done so much for me, things no one else has. And it feels great. But i still feel like this. I hate it. I hate it i hate it ihate it. De, i just want to be fucking normal." De's eyes widen. Dark brown. Pretty, big. Fuck. "Im messed up and i wanna be normal for once."

Cold. Warmth. Warmth? Face warm. Under my eye. Rubbing. Under my eye is rubbing. Des hand. Its his hand. What is he doing? "Don't cry, Seb-" im crying? "There is no such thing as normal for people. Your narmal is different from my normal. Youre normal, seb, because youre not pretending to be someone else. Youve gone through so much shit, and youre still here. Youre here, alive, recovering. Youre fucking amazing. Normal, for you, will change as you grow. You are normal." Warm.

"Whyre you so warm?" mumbling. Hands in mine again. Rubbing circuls. "Youre woth it, too, because youre amazigly strong. Youre moms love you so much, i love you so much. Theres other-" He loves me? "You love me?" eyes. Eyes so big. Red. cheeks red. His cheeks are red and hes looking away. "I mean yeah, but i hope that doesnt scare you." he loves me, he loves he loves me. He FUCKING loves me! "Holy shit." scared. He looks scared. "You love me.." a gentle hand on his knee. Im touching his knee. "You really love me?"

"I already said yes, Seb. Im sorry if that makes you uncoftirble." i love you i love you i love you i love you i love too. "I love you too." hand over mouth. My hand. "I didn't mean to say that."

Soft soft soft soft soft soft soft so- "are you okay, seriously seb. Youre acting really weird." Weird? I... im acting weird. I shake my head, then look to the bedsheets. "Im fucking great, de. Ive been freaking out about how i love you and that u don't deserve your love but.." i look at him. Eyes so big and face so red. "But you love me, and thats such a weird concept to me because i never though-" i look at him, puzzlement clear on my face.