• private lessons | renmin

• thirty nine ♡

"hey jaem. taeyong wants me home right now. are you okay being alone?" mark spoke loudy, putting on his denim jacket. "jaem?" he repeated the name louder.

the guy furrowed his eyebrows and walked to the younger's room. "jaemin." he said while knocking on the door.

"i heard you. i'll be fine. don't worry." the voice came from inside the bedroom. mark sighed and leaned his body against the closed door.

"hey don't think about it too much. i'm sure he'll leave you a chance to explain and before you wanna cut me, no you are not a coward. you can't let that word lead you for the rest of your life. you've come this far jaem. committing to a serious relationship requires you to be strong and faithful to yourself and your lover. it's not the same case as before. renjun is yours, jinwoo isn't. now you know who to hurt and who to treasure and it obviously shouldn't be yourself to hurt, it should the one who used to hurt you because he left you no choice anyway."

mark heard no more response, so he stood straight again. "i'm going now then. don't forget to eat and sleep early."

as soon as the sound of his apartment door was heard— meaning that mark left the place, jaemin came out from his bedroom and walked slowly to the living room. he sat down on the floor, in front of a TV and started at the black screen of it. he thought it felt empty because the TV was not on, but he didn't even bother to make the screen alive. nothing could make him feel any less empty at this point.

flashback

"goodbye you can do this." mark cheered for his best friend and pushed him a bit forward.

as jaemin was about to approach the person, he was stopped by the sight of someone else going to that person first, handing him a bouquet of flowers. he stood there, looking from afar with his hand, clenched into a fist. after a minute, the person and the other guy, that came after, left together with him, hand in hand.

maybe that day wasn't his day at all, maybe he should've done it the other time... or sooner than this. he should've listened to his friends and did it since forever. now how could he face the friends that were cheering and rooting for him.

jaemin's head was mixed with worries.

"don't tell me you tried to confess to jinwoo." a guy put his hand on jaemin's shoulder as he spoke.

jaemin didn't need to turn his head to look in order to know who it was. it obviously was the person he never wanted to meet, as always. that person judges everything he says, complain about everything he does. he is at jaemin's business all the time.

"listen here you big boy— or little boy. first of all, you need to get rid of this ugly pair of glasses first, then you can started thinking." the guy laughed out loud. "and second, don't even think of confessing. you are a coward, don't forget that."

jaemin shoved the guy's hand away and left the place in a blink. he came back to the spot where mark and hyuck were waiting for him and the guys all stood up asking him for results.

"how was it?" mark asked.

jaemin handed the older his bouquet of flowers and and glared at him. he didn't say anything else then walked away aggressively.

"what is wrong with him?" hyuck said in annoyance.

"hyuck calm down. i think it didn't go well. maybe he needs time."

"whatever you say. you're always on his side anyways."

"hyuck, you're both my friends. if you were in this situation, i would also stand for you like this."

"yeah right. friends." the younger glared at mark one last time and left too.

_____

jaemin closed his eyes, trying to relax and suddenly, the sound of the door bell was heard. he opened his eyes and sighed loudly, before getting up to open the door.

as soon as the door opened, jaemin felt like his strength was coming back.

renjun was standing in front of the him, looking at him expressionless.

jaemin was staring at the older in the eyes until renjun cleared his throat and walked inside by himself, not even bothered that he bumped into the younger's shoulder on his way in.

he stood in the middle of the living room and turned to jaemin.

"renjun."

as soon as jaemin said that, renjun walked towards the younger and pulled jaemin's face down with his hands placing on the younger's cheeks then smashed his lips on the other's.

jaemin shut his eyes closed and gave in. he missed this, he wanted this anyway.

renjun moved his hand to the back of jaemin's neck and deepened the kiss. the younger wanted to touch renjun back but he felt like it was not the time to do it. renjun probably gonna shove his hand away. he just stood there, letting renjun did his thing. the older broke the kiss and started panting hardly.

"ba—" jaemin wanted to speak but he was cut by the way renjun pushed him to the floor. he whined in pain and before he was able to get up, the older got on top of him.

"if i'm mad at you, i should come and punch you in the face."

renjun said that and seriously hit the younger in the face with his "hard as rock" fist.

jaemin didn't even scream or let out a sound, showing any pain. he held it in very well. he very much deserved it. that's what he thought. at this point, he didn't even think of explaining anything anymore.

renjun got up and left the place, leaving jaemin lying on the floor, not doing anything at all.

"sorry."

_________