Tom Holland is a Liar: T.H x Reader

Chapter 17

I slept in his bed that day, surely I must've left my pride at the door with my dignity. How quickly I could just take a 180 and fall for him all the same. 

In his bed we were entangled with each other, my fingers rubbing circles on his wrist whilst he used his other hand to run through my hair. We'd lay in silence, none of us had much to talk about. I only knew that I was prepared to let him take advantage of me again, I was prepared to be betrayed, side lined, even lied too. I was ignorant but I'd never cared, I desperately needed him. 

"What are we doing Y/N?" Tom asks.

The giggle in my throat couldn't hold after hearing his question,"Are you kidding, I have no idea. I thought you did?"

He laughs as well, the soft rumbles from his voice gave me joy,"I don't know."

"Do you like me?"

He pauses,"maybe a little bit."

"Do you like me," he adds.

I copy him in his reply, "Maybe."

We both go back to silence even so, we both had a mutual agreement. Without words I knew he and I both understood one thing, we weren't going to see anyone else.

The next few nights had us both in each others beds and then almost every night after that I found myself running back to Tom, not out of disparity or fear but pure pleasure. I needed him with me every day and I got just that. He was mine and I loved it. We were going well, seriously well. 

He and I were fooling around in my car, it must've wholly been young stupidity but the two of us couldn't stop. I couldn't help but think that nothing mattered mostly because nothing had to matter between us. It was meaningless and everything at the same time. 

I couldn't get enough of him, grasping at him, holding him as if he'd vanish in my arms. I wouldn't let him get away because I was obsessed. We'd been meeting up just like this for weeks now, maybe even a month. We spoke nothing of sincerity, we weren't seeing each other, we weren't dating but I think I'd rather spend time with Tom then actually date anyone else. Sure, it's an immature choice but I was a kid, I didn't need stability or commitment, I just wanted passion. He'd call me when he was lonely and I'd arrive to cheer him up. It's superficial and nonsensical especially after we had a serious relationship but maybe this change of pace was better for us.

He had called me up this evening, he said he was bored. Funny enough, so was I, maybe it was a planned coincidence but I came at his call. I drove to pick him up, he was already waiting outside his door. He came in the car, I couldn't wait. He kissed me, we continued and didn't stop. Now still, we're in the car with the seats down, I'm on top of him without a thought of remorse or hesitation. 

"You're sure about this?" he asks.

I only nod in agreement. He goes slow and I go along with it. Once it was over we'd never speak. It was like no matter how many times it may happen the two of us wouldn't acknowledge our actions, less conversation, less awkwardness. Though that wasn't exactly the case, we always fell into a pit of uncomfortable circumstances. I didn't know if he wished to speak and maybe I was the one constantly blowing him off but from what I understand it's a mutual thing, our longing miscommunication.

As I'm getting ready I try not to glance too often back over to the boy. He doesn't notice me as he's fixing the collar of his shirt and placing his hair back to perfection. He never looked out of place so everything about himself couldn't look out of place either. 

"Tom...," I began but along the way it seemed as if the confidence I wished to use slipped as soon as I uttered my first word. I had already captured his attention.

I add,"could we talk maybe?"

"What about?" he's suspicious but I truly have no motive.

"Sorry, nothing, it's stupid"

I try to shrug it off but he persists, I was hoping he would, "Y/n, what is it?"

"I barely know you anymore, I just wanna know you"

He laughs and pulls me back into him, his smile gave me all I wanted to know. Anything more he'd share would merely be extra, but I craved his vulnerability. I wished upon his secrets and daydreamed of his private life, longing to be apart of it. 

"I'll tell you anything you wanna' know," he mumbles into my neck, he's planting kisses and my goosebumps arrive high. 

His touch melts me in his arms, I answer gushingly,"Favourite person?"

"You," he replies.

I questions again,"Perfect day?"

"If I were to spend it all with you"

I giggle,"Worst memory?"

He buries his face in the crook of my neck and squeezes me tightly,"When I left you."

"You're such a liar," I swat.

He defends and persists," I'm not, I'm not, I swear!"

"You so are," I pester.

"I swear darling, I'm not, I'm not a liar anymore"

I turn my eyes to face his, we were having fun but I couldn't help but remember it. I remembered all of it and I couldn't let it go. I try to find the lie behind his eyes but I don't see a single thing, maybe I just couldn't handle if he were to actually tell the truth.

"You don't believe me," he adds.

"No, it's not-," I sigh,"It's just, I don't know Tom."

"Please believe me darling, you have to believe me this time," he says. The look in his eye, the strain in his voice, the hold in his grasp, I begged to believe it. But he was an actor after all and I've been naive before. 

I couldn't question my own authority, but I questioned him all the time.